- kylogical resonance -

Escaping The Rat Race

2012-02-12T22:08:00.001+08:00

Diary entry #9 - 12 February 2012

Dear diary,

School has resumed as the holiday season had come to an end. I went to school like any other ordinary student. Nothing spectacular that happened this week, I guess. Although, this week made me think of something. It's my senior year, the year where I have to sit for SPM and decide my career path. Frantically speaking, I am afraid. SPM would not be a piece of cake, but it's not a big deal either. It's just another major exam which I'll have to study hard for. What I'm really afraid of is, what I am gonna do after high school. What are my aims and goals, which path am I gonna take? That, is a question I have yet to find the answer.

With that aside for now, I have a story to share. I know of a friend, whose life is just about studying. Everyday after school, if she'd not be having classes outside, she would be studying. She had learnt to not hate studying, which is a good thing. But it's not like she has a choice. Her parents literally forces her to befriend her textbooks and study everyday. Wakes up early in the morning every weekend, including the holidays just to do her revision. It's like her life is revolving around the knowledge we get from textbooks which we don't really make use of in reality. Let me give you another example. Another friend of mine would always be stuck in extra classes after school. Whether she likes it or not, her parents paid for her tuition and she'd be attending class after class without rest, just to keep her occupied with studies. She can't even go out with her friends much because her schedule's full of classes.

She is running the rat race. The typical lifestyle most parents would want their children to undergo, without even bothering to find out about their child's interests or talents. It's set like that, if you have to be a doctor, you have to be a doctor. The rat race; study hard, get good grades, get a good job, make money and 'enjoy' afterwards. Now it's sad really, to see my friends unable to just relax for once and have fun without having that mathematical equation stuck in their heads. Happiness is the essence of life. No matter how much money you have, you're not gonna be happy without a genuine smile on your face. One should cherish every moment in his/her life because we only have one life. Our youth is not to be wasted, we only get to be a teenager once.

So if you can't change your parents, make sure you don't do the same for your kids in the future. Find out what they like, and what they're good in. Make sure that whatever decisions you make, it would be 'what would make him/her happy' instead of just 'what would be best for him/her'. Honor your child, and let them honor their gifts/talents. And that, is how you get their respect. Do note that I am only writing this based on how I feel, not because my parents are like that too. I am certainly not running the rat race, and I'm sure my parents are supportive of whatever decisions I ought to make. Problem is, I do not know what I want. My parents want me to resort into accounting, but I told them, no. I have not made my decision yet. I don't know what I truly wanna be even though I have my heart partly set on business/marketing or finance. I really have to pray about it to see what God has in store for me.

Just few days ago, my aunt who lives in Australia came back to Malaysia with her husband. Yesterday, she came for a visit and brought my sister, brother and I for dinner. Then she was asking me about my studies and what are my future plans. She, like mom, insisted that I become an accountant partly because her husband is a successful accountant. I felt the pressure. It reminded me that I'm in my senior year of high school and I have not made up my mind yet. Well she brought gifts for my sister and brother, but said she owes me a gift because she had no idea what to get me. Surprisingly, one of the shirts she got for my sis is exactly fitting my size. It's oversized for my sister and it's a unisex wear. So my sister insisted that I have it, lol. We had a great dinner together and went to Snowflake for dessert.

Uncle & Aunt, and sister.

Snowflake for all of us ! Yummy.

Blue shirt from Australia

Til then,

Leo.

Farewell & Take Care (:

2012-02-06T23:33:00.001+08:00

Diary entry #8 - 6 February 2012

Dear diary,

I received a phone call on Friday night, and it was from my CG leader. There was gonna be a farewell party for Makarios, my fellow CG leader on Saturday noon. I came to realize that hey, CG isn't gonna be the same anymore. It didn't came to mind that he'll be leaving Malaysia, literally until we held a farewell party. So I woke up in the morning and took a shower, while waiting for Sam to come over. We walked over to Chilli Padi and joined Zkay at the table. It was a long time since our cg had got together. We had a real good time, and the food there's delicious. Took some pictures and said our goodbyes. Maka brought us all souvenirs from Peru I think.. I'm not quite sure. He got me this little whistle in a shape of a bird.

Nasi Lemak @ Chilli Padi ; Delicious ! <3

Us; Happy Garden CG (:

Souvenirs Maka got us (: mine's the middle one.

Dear Maka,

You've been a really good leader these few years and you've done a good job uniting us cg members and taking the lead. You're always doing whatever you can to make things go according to plan disregarding whether or not you'd make a fool of yourself. I totally respect you. You've been patiently providing us with transportation, as well as making sure we're emotionally stable and being accountable. Even though I've never had any deep conversations with you before, but I know you're accountable and a good friend. You're always the one making sure we don't sidetrack and reminding us the true purpose of cg fellowship, which is to talk to God and further strengthen our relationship with Him. You're a prayer warrior and I thank you for all your prayers. I believe that God has a plan for you in Australia and you'll be of Godly influence to those you come across. All the best with your studies there, and may you be a blessing, and a fire for His name (: you've been a great leader and friend. I'm sure all of us will miss you, and you'll be in our prayers. Do come to visit when you're back on breaks! We love you! (:

Nothing much happened on Sunday. It was my last day of gambling for this CNY. Went for a final reunion dinner and also barbeque with my family. We played blackjack and apparently, at the end I didn't earn nor lose any money. On Facebook, balancing eggs on the floor was trending due to some gravitational field force or something that occurs on the beginning of the Lunar year. I wanted to try it out since I was too free perhaps, haha. It took me 2 minutes on my first try and I have Bubbles to prove it!

Bubbles and her leg stunt while I balanced an egg !

Today's a Sunday. I slept in and woke up in the late afternoon. In the evening, Junita accepted a challenge from my dad. She decided to try and bake again. With a different recipe, she prepared the ingredients to bake a moist chocolate cake. The result? A success, finally! The cake came out nice and smelling good. I couldn't wait to taste it. It was really delicious. My dad laughed and said, 'finally you did not bake a rock that is hard enough to kill someone'.

Junita's delicious Moist Chocolate Cake :3

Til then,

Leo.

Flower that blossoms (:

2012-02-03T23:33:00.002+08:00

Diary entry #7 - 2 February 2012

Dear diary,

I'm feeling happy today. One of the reasons shall not be mentioned here, :P. January has come to an end, time passes very quickly when there are no worries holding us back, huh? It has been a good year, and the holiday season has not ended yet. There will be 2 more days of holidays next week, before it's time to really focus on studies. Yesterday was a holiday, and I slept soundly, waking up at 11 to get ready. I was embarrassed, because I couldn't even remember where my cousin's house was located. Partly because my parents hasn't been visiting them, and also because I am unfamiliar with housing areas in Sri Petaling. I took a cab in search for his house, and unfortunately the cab driver didn't know of the road he stays at. Guiding him with the directions my brother gave me that he had scribbled on a tiny paper earlier before, had finally led me to my cousin's house. Oh gracious, Jun Xiang was there. If I had known, I would've followed his mom's car xD.

Haha, so when I arrived they were playing the PS2. Later on the girls joined in and played football on the console. Leon's maid served us drinks and also the cake Abel's mom had bought, it was delicious! We moved on to playing poker cards, and I was winning every round as a normal player. The moment I became the dealer, I had lost triple the amount I've earned thus far. Bullies! :( haha it was fun though. Ian, Leon's younger brother joined us and won all our money! Hahahaha, poker faces. We headed out to Old Town Sri Petaling for lunch, and later on grabbed for drinks at ChaTime. Nothing much about that, just hanging out with mah friends.

This is Suk Kyi's appetite for lunch. @@ ; OldTown

ChaTime with my friends (:

When I headed home, I found out that my tenant wanted to bake brownies. Nowadays, it's baking fiesta in my house. We're always baking every now and then. Although we don't succeed most of the time but we have lots of fun haha. As we were not used to our new oven, it seems our oven bakes faster. So the brownies got a little burnt on the outer layer, but it tastes really good. The purpose of baking this time was for my sister. As the clock strikes 12, we sang the birthday song.

Delicious chocolaty taste ! <33;

The burnt chocolate brownie ! Hahaha.

Happy 20th birthday sis (: you've been a blessing in our family. I'm sure God has an amazing plan for you and your life shall go according to His plans. Most of the time, when I could not rely on our eldest brother, you'll be there for me. I'm thankful that you're my sister and I love you (: sounds awkward right? If you're reading this you'd be laughing. Hahaha. Sometimes, you are like the joy that puts an end to the never ending arguments in the family that never come to a conclusion. You are like a flower that blossoms, and lights up the whole tree into a lively tree again. Truthfully, I'm happy to hear when you're coming back for semester breaks, although one sad fact would be you reclaiming your room and forcing me to move out! :p

On the following night, on her birthday, she went out with her friends. My dad took that opportunity to bake a cake. Singlehandedly, he baked the whole cake by himself without our help and it turned out successful! It was a plain cake without any fancy icing or cream, but it was delicious. Plain butter almond cake (:.

The cake before being turned around.

Tadaa ! The lovely butter almond cake !

Add two candles; and voila :P.

Happy Birthday sista ! :D

Le'family.

Turn off the lights ; My family (:

This is a piece of the cake.

Adding ice-cream to it, tastes like ice-cream cake literally !

#diaryedit: I have resumed writing this as it got really late last night. Today's a Friday and I went to school followed by 2 tuition classes. We had our class photo shoot today, and it was the first time in five years I got to sit on the chair haha. Obtw, awesome dinner just now, followed by the traditional Chinese New Year 'lousang' :D.

Til then,

Leo.

Beliefs and Misconceptions

2012-01-31T23:30:00.002+08:00

Diary entry #7 - 31 January 2012

Dear diary,

The regular routine of being woken up by the resonating sound of my phone alarm every morning has yet been continued again. Yes, school has started yesterday. I do miss school. Unlike every other year, I'd be complaining about having to go back to school. Maybe I'm getting old, it's my last year in high school and I'll surely miss my friends. So after I took some time to consider whether or not to ditch the first day of school, I made a decision to be a good boy and go. I was expecting a rather pleasant morning, for the start of a brand new week, but no. Assembly was horrible. The feeling of having to witness my dear friend apologize to the head mistress in front of the whole school was rather disturbing. We all know it was a small issue lit into a big fire. It all comes down to the wall of ego and pride one has, and that lady above us with lots of power obviously has a very big ego. Nevertheless, the hectic season is finally over. I'm happy she managed to stay strong throughout the whole thing.

We had quite a lot of free time on our hands and so I caught up with my friends, listening to what they've been up to the past week. I could tell for sure, everyone is still in the holiday mood. I'm really happy I've reconciled with that one friend that I haven't been speaking to. Anyway, I brought the souvenirs I bought from Penang to school. I don't usually buy things for people unless it's someone's birthday or something. Considering the fact that I don't travel much, it was my first time buying souvenirs. The smiles on my friends' faces was more than enough. I gave them these little 'butterflies'. Later on in the day, we had to do our physical tests. I was happy to see Mr. Khoo as our PJ teacher again. Doing those pump ups, sit ups and running those laps really gave me the sores. It was so sudden, and all I've been doing was eat eat eat during the holidays. Haha, it was refreshing though.

Souvenirs; Butterfly keychain. They're real butterflies !

Butterfly necklace :)

I got into a little argument with my friend in class. As a fellow Christian, I may not be the best role model of Christian qualities. I've lots more to learn as I surrender myself to God who strengthens me. My friend, and atheist, started making fun of this video. He was saying that the guy who wrote the poem, Jefferson Bethke was speaking rubbish. Others who do not understand might think he is contradicting himself, but no. He speaks of the truth. Religion today is different from those times back then. Now, anyone could proclaim that their a Christian. But really, do we all behave like one? Christianity should not be a label or a chore to just go to church every Sunday. I am a Christian, and I do not go to church on Sundays. I do know that's not a good thing, but I have my circumstances. Christianity is a personal relationship with God.

Quoting Jefferson Bethke, "The church isn't a museum of good people, it should be a hospital for the broken." I believe there are many churches out there who care more about how their services run on Sundays, than what a church should really be; the house of God. Back to the story, I got really offended when my friend made that video a laughing stock. He literally mocked me, because I totally agree with Jefferson Bethke. I was boiling inside, literally. You have just proven the truthfulness of his words, because religion is what creates war. You should respect what others believe in, and I strongly stand for what I believe in.

Dear friend, I know you dislike us Christians. The Christians you know may not portray Jesus in them, because they are merely human. It's like the same as me mocking your race. Just because one Indian is behaving like an idiot doesn't mean all Indians are the same. I feel you, because you're Indian but we all love you for who you are. So stop spreading gibberish about how to live life. Life is not just about getting wasted, being blinded by lust and having sex. You may have your ways to live your life, but do not mock others of their beliefs. You're always a clown, but do note that you always speak without thinking because you think what you say is always true. So don't just think you can offend others and just laugh it off.

Oh, and I didn't go to school today. I got lazy (: but I did get a haircut, finally. Tomorrow is a holiday! Looking forward to it.

Til then,
Leo.

Poppin' bottles in the ice

2012-01-30T21:15:00.000+08:00

Diary entry #6 - 29 January 2012

Dear diary,

It's been a rather exhausting day again. Probably the most tiresome Chinese New Year I've ever celebrated. Going everywhere and all, so many different places in a week, it'll kill my legs. No regrets though, every moment shall be cherished deeply and it was worth the energy. Last night, as I have mentioned, I went to my friend Bryan's house for a party. It was to celebrate the birthdays of 3 friends with 2 days gap in between, filled with also Chinese New Year spirit. Thus, there was a lot of gambling and drinking. I did not really gamble though, only lost one buck for the sake of gambling.

As I arrived, I stayed around Nicky, Alex and Hong. While the rest of Bryan's guests were gambling and drinking, we played poker cards for fun without having money involved. Later on, when my other friends Adeline, Eugene and Chee Meng arrived, I hungout with them. They didn't really eat there even though dinner was served. I, as hungry as ever went down and tasted the food cooked by the hands of Bryan's mom. The spaghetti caught my attention, and it tasted as good as it looks :D. As time passed, we got bored of playing cards and more people started drinking beer cans as it was getting late.

This little cutie I met the moment I stepped in ; Coco.

Coco in her lovely dress, with Adeline.

Cheemeng and I.

Bryan and I.

The bunch of us actually decided to stay over and crash Bryan's place for the night, but it was so sudden we did not bring any extra clothes. After a really long and tiring night full of noises from those drunkard boys, we were really glad it's morning disregarding most of us did not get to sleep peacefully. I did take a few sips of those expensive alcohol just to try it out and it did not taste good, it's too strong for me. Those who got drunk were behaving notoriously and doing silly stuff. Dear readers, they were drinking under parental provision and all the alcohol in the house was meant for us guests, lol.

We crash and mess up Bryan's bed ! :D

Thank goodness none of the bunch of us got into that and obviously did not get drunk, and I actually planned an 'open house' for my circle of friends right in the afternoon the next day. So when we woke up, Eugene, Adeline and I rushed back to my house, took a shower and rested while waiting for the others. We had a good time together eating lunch and playing games. Most importantly, I've even influenced them into playing Monopoly (cards version) and they got really into it. We had a real jolly good time despite having to crash a friend's place, and then travel here and there. School starts tomorrow and I am so not feeling like going to school. I am dead tired and I have not gotten a haircut. My hair is long :(. Anyway, I'm still considering whether to go to school or not. I'm about to leave to Kepong for dinner soon. See how much traveling I've done this week? I'm dead tired :(

Cheemeng concentrating on Stacko.

My dinner at Kepong ! Steamboat. (:

Live oysters ; delicious.

Til then,
Leo.

Family fellowship

2012-01-29T22:23:00.000+08:00

Diary entry #5 - 27 January 2012

Dear diary,

Today was just an ordinary day home. I woke up quite late at about 1pm, it's been a long time since I've slept in. Gives me quite the relaxation I needed. Anyway, after doing my chores I found out that my brother was baking cookies again. We failed badly the last time, so we tried again with half the portion of what we used previously. I took a bath and headed to the kitchen immediately. *evil smirks* I tried to help out but found myself taking pictures and eating more than actually being a helping hand. Hahaha, the batter turned out much better and was considered a success. My mom said the cookie tasted like Famous Amos. After trials and error. The baking team's efforts were worth it after all hahaha. My brother and tenant did most of the job, while my sister and I helped out.

The successful batter

The cookies baking in the oven !

Successful chocolate chip cookies ! ;D

Famous Amos wanna-be baker. Haha (:


The team ! My brother's missing tho.

Later on during the day, dad gathered everyone in the second living room and displayed the videos he filmed during our Penang trip. All the candid shots and filming he took secretly had us laughing. Especially me, I was made a laughing stock in one video he took today. My dad's been catching up on video filming for a hobby and I guess it's a good thing for memories, but I still prefer pictures.

Anyhow, we headed for dinner at KFC because my brother had vouchers. I saw Timothy there with his friends. We all had a dinner plate to ourselves with a cup of pepsi. Later on in the car my brother provoked me with an argument and debate on who does the most chores in the house. I got furious and Junita my tenant calmed me down. All these ridiculous and silly fighting is always happening between my brother and I. He's been a bully since I was a little boy but that doesn't change the fact that he's my brother. I guess that's the power of love in families, to forgive and to love in the name of Jesus, Amen.

All chicken breasts on mah plate ! :D

The most loved; cheesy wedges !

Til then,
Leo.

Penang Trip

2012-01-28T16:20:00.000+08:00

Diary entry #4 - 25 January 2012

Dear diary,

I have just arrived home safely after a really tiresome journey throughout the day. I've really got to give thanks to the Lord for the journey mercy and protection of us throughout this whole trip. We've seen a few accidents on the road but we came back safely with a smooth ride by God's grace :). Anyway, I understand why people love Penang. It's mainly about the food! Food is everywhere on this little island. I personally enjoyed all the scenery and beautiful views of the seas. I had a lot of fun there in Penang. I'll be summarizing the awesome 3 days I've stayed there.

First and foremost, we arrived at mainland Penang in Taman Jawi located near Sungai Bakap and Nibong Tebal. We've been given a friendly greeting by Pastor Raj and his wife, Pastor Jesse. They are the parents of my house tenant, Junita. We've had a really good time with them and it was a blessing to have stayed in their house. It was great hospitality,they treated us guests like family. I like how Pastor Jesse is always jovial and joyful. She is always rejoicing and it's probably one of her ways to keep young. She looks like Junita's sister instead of her mom. The food she cooks is nice too (: i'm really grateful. Okay, so I've written much about the first day on another post. But some funny thing was, at night Junita gave us a tour of her childhood town and it was the middle of Penang, Perak and Kedah. We went to Perak and met a cat, drove over to Kedah to see a giant fake durian and headed back.


Me in the car, sitting next to Junita.

We're almost reaching Junita's house !

Lovely welcome sign, even though they forgot my name ):

Home made Bakuteh made by my mommy ! :>

This is the 'Perak cat' haha ! So friendly right ?


Taboo ! Games fun time ;D

Our whole family were playing Taboo together ! ;D

On the second day was when we traveled to the food island (Penang). It was a breezy day and we thank God for the weather. At some point it got really hot but it was still windy. So we took the ferry, boarding our car on it aswell to experience the ride. Once we arrived the island, we headed to the historical Fort Cornwallis, located near Explanet. There we read about Francis Light even though most of the time I was looking elsewhere :p. We also took pictures with the cannons. After a brief walkthrough, we toured the places near Gurney, and looked for food. We drank coconut and after we seen the popular spots, we headed to the Butterfly Farm. It was a really nice experience to have butterflies surrounding you and these aren't your average little butterflies. They are all big and colorful. We took a lot of pictures there and also looked at insects, snakes and spiders. It was crowded with people so we couldn't get a personal tour guide.


Us, taking the ferry to Penang island !

Our first stop; Fort Cornwallis.


Me, Junita and my sister under the hot sun. <3

My sister and I in front of the Fort Cornwallis entrance

Us in the historical chapel

Junita and I posing ! Hahaha.

You mess with us, we cannon you ! >;P

My parents doing Bollywood style; so cute ! ;D

Our banana leaf lunch before heading to Butterfly Farm

Butterfly farm ! The attack of the giant butterfly.

That's Junita to you ! My daring and courageous tenant.

Us in the Butterfly Farm !


Butterfly Farm; around the duck pond.


I found this pitiful little fish, with it's tail missing..

After a long walk we decided to head to the beach. We drove along Tanjung Bunga and went to Batu Feringghi and stopped by a shady beach. The sun was really burning hot even though it was about 5pm. Initially I wasn't planning on swimming, but I went in anyway. The worst part was in was wearing white shorts with my vibrant red underwear inside. So my sister and Junita keep teasing me stating that the sea was bright red with my presence, haha. The water wasn't clear so I hid my lower body in it :p. Anyway, apart from the fun time we had swimming, Pastor Raj started a conversation on the beach with this Yamen couple he had just met. At first they were having signs of disagreement in their gestures we could see from far away. But then, we prayed for the presence of the Holy Spirit anyways. Long story short, that man and his wife both accepted Christ after talking with Pastor Raj for more than an hour. I salute and look up to pastor for his boldness to be able to preach to strangers. Not only that, the fact that he could make them invite him to sit down and talk for so long. Its not that easy because people who came for holiday would not bother and just want to relax. Praise God for his mighty works. That Yamen man wanted to treat us all for a boat ride after that, but it was too late and it was getting dark after we had all washed ourselves up.

Before getting wet at the beach !

In the water; we got our mom to get in ! Yay !

At night we went to night street stalls to eat. We had Chao Kwey Teow and ice kacang there. It was a really tiresome day, and we only reached back at mainland at 11pm. I went to sleep as soon as we arrived home. The very next day, which is today as I'm writing this, my siblings and I woke up at 10. We slept for 11 hours haha. After having a nice fellowship at Brunch and playing Monopoly cards, we went to eat again. Food food food for my tummy! Pastor brought us to a famous stall to eat asam laksa and cendol. After eating we went back home to pack our stuff and left for good. It was a really fun trip and we said our goodbyes to Pastor Raj and Pastor Jesse. We rushed home for dinner at my uncle's place. Due to traffic, we only reached at 10 something for dinner and took one angpow only.. Everyone else left already haha. Mom and dad are leaving to Malacca tomorrow and I'm glad to be back to my home sweet home. We reached home at 11 as I'm writing this after downloading our stuff. I guess it is time to sleep, i'm really tired and I miss my bed. Good night (:

Our brunch on the last day

We had lunch again, after Brunch haha. Assam laksa !

Rojak and cendol ; yummy.

I have posted a whole album of this trip on Facebook. So do go check it out !
I've really had a lot of fun this trip, and I'm about to go for dinner soon as I'm editing this blog post.
It's Saturday, the holidays are near to an end but I've really enjoyed myself ! ;>

Til then,

Leo.

Glorious Food All The Way!

2012-01-27T14:15:00.001+08:00

Diary entry #3 - 26 January 2012

Dear diary,

I have to be very honest with you. All I've been doing this holiday is eat, eat, eat and eat without exercise. All the glorious food I've had tasted so good and I'm blessed to be able to have such fellowship with my loved ones. Thanks Daddy in heaven (: I woke up kinda early today at 8am, considering I only fell asleep at 1am. Chores had to be done because my eldest aunt was visiting us. My parents and my other relatives had planned a day out to Malacca. Surprisingly, even my cousins who are always not around showed up. The naughty bunch of us siblings wanted to stay home and rest after the exhausting trip to Penang.

This is what I've been drinking ! No alcohol x)

Thus, we did not go to Malacca with them. Junita and her husband, Reuben took all 3 of us out for lunch. It seems that the cafe we went to was owned by the father of one of my brother and sister's cg member. Complicated? Sorry hehe. Okay so we went to Strawberry Cafe at PJ for lunch. We had a good time and the food was great, not costly too. My sister and I both ordered the Spaghetti Carbonara with Chicken and shared a Ribena Longan for a drink. Service wasn't that good even though the food is good.

My sister and I ordered the same thing :/

Spaghetti Carbonara with Chicken ! Yumm :3

I am writing this as I'm waiting to go out for dinner. I'll be celebrating my dear friend's 17th birthday. Happy birthday Liow Jen Nick (: or the one I like to call Nicky! We'll be having dinner at Papparich, Sri Petaling and then heading for karaoke session. I'll be heading out soon, so ciaos!

*Edit: Okay, so we did not eat at Papparich, we crossed over next door to Padihouse. Karaoke session didn't work out as well :P

Liow Jen Nick: Yeah man I'm 17 heheh (;<


These cakes at Padihouse taste good ;D

Once again, Happy Birthday to Liow Jen Nick ! All the best this year as studies are fairly important, and I do hope you achieve your goals in life as well other than gaming all the time :p.
I did mention that there would be a follow-up post regarding the Penang Trip, but I'll have to delay that for now. Pictures are not done being uploaded yet, so..

Til then,
Leo.

CNY Preparations

2012-01-26T09:10:00.000+08:00

Diary entry #2 - 23 January 2012

Dear diary,

It is the first day of Chinese New Year. Nothing special really, just a family holiday trip to Penang. It's been a really exhausting journey. We're staying in Junita's house. Junita is my tenant who rents a room in my house and now it will be us living in hers for the next 3 days. We just had an awesome lunch with her family immediately after we downloaded our belongings. So as my siblings are napping, I decided to write about the preparations for Chinese New Year.

This year, like the past 2 years my siblings and I were disappointed because mom always plan trips on the first few days of Chinese New Year. At first we were thinking bout all the fun we'd miss out with our relatives as well as the red packets! It turns out that this trip is beginning to look interesting, and I've never been to Penang. Thus, there weren't really much preparations. I've been called a shopaholic countless times because of how much shopping I've done for this year's CNY. I've been really busy the few weeks before this because as CNY gets closer, business in the wet market is busier than usual. I spent few days in a row along with my sister, waking up at like 5 in the morning to help my mom out til bout 11am.

Things have been hectic this year and I'll talk more about that in upcoming diary entries/blog posts. With that aside, it's been a pleasure meeting up with my cousins and hanging out together. I watched Underworld the Awakening last week and boy was it amazing. Then there was this time when my brother wanted to bake cookies! It was his first time doing it, so we all helped out. Some turned out burned, the batter was a failure, but we all had fun together! Haha the succeeded ones tasted okay. Just yesterday, it was CNY eve where families gather together to have a reunion dinner.

The food was really great but it seems that the CNY spirit just isn't there anymore. When I was younger, everyone used to bond together playing poker cards and having fun. Every year we practise less tradition and play with gadgets instead. I remember the youngsters (my fellow cousins, my siblings and I) played the iPad last year. At least this year it wasn't that bad, we gathered together to play Monopoly cards. All in all, I'm just glad that I get to gather with my relatives and fellowship together. I thank God for the things He's done for us and for the amazing year ahead of us. I'll be writing more stuff when I have time during this trip in Penang. Happy Chinese New Year (:

Til then,
Leo.

Motivation

2012-01-22T18:08:00.006+08:00

Diary entry #1 - 22 January 2012

Dear diary,

I truly am looking forward to writing blog posts and thus I downloaded this application. It is now 5.55pm on a Sunday evening. The holidays have started with quite an exciting kick as I truly am looking forward to this year's Chinese New Year. It's said that 90% of people around the world fail to see results in their new year's resolution.

It's been the same for me, an on and off thing to do cardiovascular exercises like jogging. But, I haven't had the motivation to do so. I usually express all my feelings through a blog post but I haven't had the feeling of writing as well. I hope this simple diary I downloaded on my phone would be helpful in keeping you guys posted.

*Edit: Just a note for those of you who actually read my blog posts, I have downloaded a diary app on my phone and I will be writing stuff down there instead. Whatever too personal will stay there, and the rest of the posts will be sent here. I will try to write more often as 2012 comes with a whole new exciting plot with it (:
It's Chinese New Year tomorrow, so. Happy Chinese New Year everyone ! ;3

Til then,
Leo.

I will finish the race ! :)

2011-09-16T23:55:00.001+08:00

It's not like you're the only one that's hurting.

So I woke up really early this morning and head out to

Dee's house. Carpooling for the Oren Sport Klang Welfare

Run 2011 ! I was excited and nervous at the same time as

it was my first time participating in such an event. There

were A LOT of people than I have imagined. We warmed

up around the carpark area there and I had to run to the

toilet halfway to pee LOL. My random goal was to finish

the race within an hour; ( the finishing time is within an

hour and a half ) and I did it ! My time was 50 minutes

for a 7km run.

Disappointed tho, since my athletic friends

finished it in like 35 minutes. I did my best.. because as I

was running, I felt the pressure amongst the people around

me and it affected my pace and my steadiness. Halfway

through, there was a pain in my chest, which made me

walk for quite some time instead of jogging/running.

Well guess what ! I'm not stopping here. This is only my

first and I will continue to give my best if I do participate

in any future marathons. I will continue jogging regularly

to keep fit and do my best even though I'm not a sports guy.

One must finish the race he started ! :3

Good experience ! Here are us.


Deanna, Marcus and I.

I'm just gonna dance right thru the pain.

Til then,
Leo.

I'm just gonna run right thru the rain.

2011-09-13T23:22:00.002+08:00

Let my heart speak louder than my head.

It's been quite some time since I had the feeling of wanting to
write. Lots of stuff has come to past, happiness and sorrows.

2nd ~ 4th of September

During these three days, I have learned a lot of things. I went

for my 2nd mission trip in Negeri Sembilan. Same area as the

first one I went for, but a different place. Even though all we

did was paint the house of a local church member there, but to

him it is a blessing because in villages like that, it's rare to

have people painting houses for you. My friend even teased me

by asking 'so you went all the way to N9, only to paint a house?'

The things that we have compared to them, we are very fortunate.

Apart from experience, I've gained a lot of knowledge physically

and mentally from this mission trip. Even though we went as

a very 'unprepared' team as to the limited time that were given

to us, we managed to pull it off and ministry there was okay.

Unfortunately I fell sick on the 3rd day and couldn't even speak

or say goodbye because of terrible flu. Nonetheless, mission

trip was awesome, and we got to know each other better in our

cell group. No regrets (:

Probably an unbelievable news to most of my friends ? I have

started jogging and working out again after more than a year !

It's been too much slacking and some exercise is finally

coming in (: Also ! I'm going for Oren Sport Klang Welfare

Run 2011 this Friday. I hope I can complete the 7km run within

the time set. My first official 'run' thinggy hehhh.

On Friday, I was celebrating Thinakaran's 16th birthday until

midnight. When I got home, I was surprised why noone was

home until I heard the news from my parents. Unfortunately,

on the same date 09-09-11 my dearest grandmother,

Seow Wai Len has passed away. She had been stuck in her bed

for 3 years because of her sickness. She lived on machine,

because of excessive phlegm in her throat disabling her to

breathe normally. After too much suffering, it is better to let

her go as her internal organs are already malfunctioning..

and there is no cure.. she has suffered too much.

Grandma, you really taught me a lot through your experiences

in life. You raised up your children all by yourself, working

day and night to raise up a family as we are now. Without

you, your children wouldn't have become successful men and

women whom they are today. Thank you for everything !

I know that you are now in Heaven with thy Father. It is time

for you to rest and deserve your place in Heaven.

Grandma, I love you, rest in peace.

You will always remain in our hearts !

Til then,
Leo.

Should you not,be the one I ought to look up to?

2011-08-13T22:30:00.005+08:00

As long as you are true to yourself,

worry not from falling into darkness.

Short update of what's been happening lately:

-There was a monthly test last week, and I did

last minute revision. Managed to get an A for

add maths, but screwed up in a few subjects.

-Going for mission trip this early September.

-Going for class Kuantan trip in conjunction with

form teacher's wedding.

-Going for Oren Sport Klang Welfare Run 2011.

-Started with Accounts assignments.

Sometimes, I wonder why you always get cheated

so easily, or is a common victim of cheap tricks.

It is because you are such a good actor. You act as

though you are a nice person in front of others, and

just try to impress people in any way you can.

Truth is, you're mean and fake. One thing is always

on my mind, the case whom you are accused of

doing something. I always doubted you because

of your actions, your true self noone sees except us.
I may not really believe in this karma thing, but
someway rather or another, what goes around comes
around and gets back at you. You're being unfair..

Angry over little things, mood swings and bad

temper. I wonder if men really do undergo menstrual

cycle when they get older. You seem to go through

the precise symptoms of period pain. Why do I

have to endure everything, including the things

that aren't my fault and those that are mine ?

I'm not an animal for you to release your tension.

I have feelings too, there are times when I am

not in the best of mood as well. Please consider

what you say before you spit out those bloody

words from your stinking horrible mouth.

You disappoint me, father.

Should you not, be the one I ought to look up to.. ?

Til then,
Leo.

Into the journey of love (:

2011-07-24T22:47:00.002+08:00

Never let anyone hold you back, believe in yourself.

Sacrifices have to be made for new things to come (:

My brother and I being silly with Vendetta mask.

I woke up kinda late today, at 3pm in the afternoon. Right now,

I'm feeling kinda dizzy and sick. Well it is worth it as yesterday

was a really fun day. I'll talk about that later. Mhm this month

I have been getting lots of stuff. :D since my birthday lies on

this month. Here are just some pictures of the stuff I thank for.

My mom got these for me today all of a sudden xP

The cool blue bottle my sis got for me for my bday.

Oscargram 2011 mug ! Got this for attending the event in church.


Beautiful shell necklaces from Hawaii ! from Maka.

Yesterday, 23rd July 2011

I woke up at 9 in the morning, and was out all the way til 12.30am.

It was a really fun but tiring day, full of meals everywhere ! Haha.

Firstly, Happy Garden CG had an outing to go play badmintion

as well as swimming. A CG (cellgroup) is a group of people from

youth church split into groups. After playing around in the pool,

we had Domino's pizza. At like 3, we went for mamak session

at Nathan's. I had roti cheese and milo ice. [The roti cheese here

wasn't that good...] After that, when the rest went home Zkay,

Danny, Timothy and I went for mamak session v2 at Steven's

Corner and I called roti cheese again ! Because I really wanted

to try it and it was oh-so-delicious.

We talked a lot and shared 'stories' with each other haha. Talk

about being full, we rushed home but zkay couldn't join us for

Oscargram 2011 later. I took a bath as I got home and decided

to join Danny and Tim at Oscargram 2011 since my siblings

were going as well. Oscargram 2011 is an event in church where

all the cell groups teamed up together to make videos of their

own to compete with each other for the grand prize. The videos

were all very funny :D ! We had dinner there in church, and

then I joined the Pencils CG to celebrate Christian's birthday.

Had another drink there at D'Rich. Really long day huh ? I'm

just summarizing everything up & I got back home at 12.30am.

Muscles still aching right now as I'm feeling dizzy and sick..

Every beginning has an ending, but

with every ending comes a new beginning (:

Til then,
Leo.

'Cause I'm the king of wishful thinking.

2011-07-16T23:58:00.002+08:00

Don't wanna try, don't wanna try, don't wanna try no more.

I'll get over you, I know I will. I'll pretend my ship's

not sinking. And I'll tell myself, I'm over you

'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking..
- Go West

Just like the song, I'll tell myself that I won't try anymore.

All you're gonna do is hurt me simultaneously 'cause

all you're gonna do is ignore me. As little as I tried to just

start a conversation, there you go acting like a 'wall' that

doesn't know how to reply. I'd be lying to myself if I said

it's easy to get over you, but don't worry I'll try (:

If you had ever treated me as a friend, I believe you'll talk

to me again. If all this while I had meant nothing at all

to you, then let's just let it be. I'm falling to pieces.

My sister went to genting yesterday, dad went to climb

the highest mountain in Malaysia, Gunung Kinabalu.

Seems like everyone's having fun and yet I'm stuck at

home ):, even my brother went to Singapore last week.

Meh, at least I have friends to keep me accompanied.

Yesterday was report card day, where parents come

to take the report card in school. My parents didn't

come but they weren't as interested anyways, haven't

show my mom my results tho. Started add maths classes

on Friday as well, really tiring day :<.

There was CG today. Like, half of the group didn't

turn up. Some were busy watching liverpool match

and etc, haha. So, we decided to make everything short

and go for mamak session to chill and hangout. Timothy

made me this cute little 'egg of wishes' thinggy.

Very thoughtful of him, haha I wouldn't be able to make

such a thing ! o:

'Egg of wishes'

Til then,
Leo.

It's all about the love. (:

2011-07-08T22:19:00.006+08:00

8th of July,

I believe, to be the day that I was born out of love, with love,
to love and to be loved.

In this life of mine, I have been through lots of ups and

downs. But that only made me stronger, and taught me lots of

lessons one cannot obtain from textbooks or storybooks. I have

learn to appreciate the people around me, make new friends

and look at people in a different perspective, more than what's

outside the appearance. Never to judge a book by it's cover.

Today, to those who wished that I'd have a blast on my birthday,

let me tell you I certainly did ! Thank you for all the sweet cards

and wishes, I cannot thank you all enough for making my day.

At first, I thought it was just gonna be another normal 'birthday'

as birthdays are fairly important to me.. To my surprise, my

bunch of friends had something under their sleeves and I did

not see it coming ! Even though Adeline could not come, and

that it were only the 5 of us, I had lots of fun with you guys ! :D

Not to mention having a serving of whipped cream smashed

all over my face ! I never expected such sabo, xP. Love you

guys ! Glad to have you all by my side (:

Although part of my wish will never come true, I have

true friends to make my life complete. Happy birthday to me !

Thank you all for your existence :D,

Let the picture-o-mania begin.


Unexpected sabo ! Whipped cream all ova mah face~


Us at Tutti Fruitti. Awesome ice-cream shop/cafe yo !

The awesome chocolate moose cake they got me ! Deliciously yummy


We tried Tutti Fruitti for the first time together. Although expensive, worth every cent ! :D

Til then,
Leo.

Strangers again.

2011-06-20T20:20:00.000+08:00

Tired of pretending, don't wanna run away.

Mhmmm, yesterday was Father's Day. I don't really

wanna talk about it. I didn't even wish my dad, didn't

feel like it because he was being such a biotch bout

everything, anything ! Even though I'm not at fault.

Hope all your dad's and you had a great day ytd !

I certainly did not.

Strangers, again. This friendship, I shall not forget.

Ever since we met, I guess I've been trying too much.

It takes nearly a year long to get over what was holding

us back and start to talk again. Now, within a blink of

an eye, we are strangers, again. I guess it will wait til

almost another year, or maybe never til the day we

actually talk again. There's nothing that actually went

wrong this time. But because of one thing that you

cannot accept about me, that I cannot change, we

choose to take the easy way. The way where we

pretend we never knew each other and just become

strangers.

I may be nothing to you, you're not at loss.

You have loads of other friends who are always

wanting to talk to you, I don't. Everyone looks up

to you so you're NOT AT LOSS. But I guess you

never knew the pain I feel. It's like a piece of my

heart thorn apart from my body. Well, no metaphore

can describe the depression. I guess, we fit very well

the role as strangers..

Just a piece of my heart,

Til then,
Leo.

I didn't wanna know.

2011-06-16T20:19:00.001+08:00

I didn't understand.

Well well well ! Guess which position did the boy who

doesn't study and only do last minute read-throughs got

in class ? 10th place ! Amazing how I managed to still

get in the top 10 list. I was expecting 20-ish. Also, I'm

glad I only failed one subject, which is add math. If I

hadn't failed add math I probably would've made 9th

placing but he'd beat me flat anyways, cause deducting

my Accounts marks, his scores would be higher.

That's not the point ! It's near the end of the week and

LoL is having maintenance right now. You wouldn't

know the pain feeling of a gamer craving to play during

a game maintenance ! xP, anyway. Some people have

already been asking me what I want for my birthday

which falls on July. Truthfully, all I want is a phonecall

from this one person. I haven't really had any real

conversations with this person for quite some time..

The utter most are just hi's and bye's, mostly the bye's.

If only I'd get at least just a wish, I'd be happy.

Anyway, thanks for being thoughtful ! (:

p.s: I don't collect albums.. ha !

Adeline, dhakshayani, rodney and the other prefects
are going for some mini bootcamp training thinggy
tomorrow after school for 3 days. Haha, have fun guys !

Til then,
Leo.

100th POST.

2011-06-14T14:41:00.001+08:00

But behind the scenes, you mean the world to me..

I know, it's been awhile since I've wrote anything. There was

a 2-weeks holiday school break, and I wasted it doing nothing

fruitful. Guess I was too lazy and slacked the whole weekend.

Actually there are a couple of things that happened during the

two weeks, which includes loads and LOADS of FOOD !

First, was movie day out and also the only movie I watched

during this break, The Pirates of The Caribbean. Then, came

Dad's birthday on 5th of June (Trying to remember everything

accordingly). Aaanddd, I kind of missed out on an unofficial

cg outing to go ice-skating ---- I miss ice-skating so badly !

We also had cg outing at the Bukit Jalil Park to do our video

shoot for yc announcements, and we had to line dance in

different places in the park ! Totally silly and funny.

Last Saturday, it was free cg so we could hangout and do

basicly whatever we want ! Basketball was our plan, but then

it started to rain so we played mafia and taboo indoors, and

later on at night went for a buffet at Talipon. See what I mean

by FOOD ? Zkay totally didn't see it coming. Her birthday was

on Friday, so we celebrated and sabotaged her with a birthday

cake after the buffet.

This is Zkay.

From this, to ~

This is her after the sabo ! :D

And this is us, happy garden cg. (after she cleaned herself up.)

Well that was Saturday, and on Sunday I went to church after a

very very long time. It's because our video for announcements

was up and I could see my silly dance in it. Yesterday, was my

brother David's 22nd birthday but we celebrated the day before

so we just had a birthday cake, don't have the pictures.

So ! What have I been up to ? I don't know. I have been playing

League of Legends the whole holiday and now that school has

started again, it's back to the books. Results came out yesterday

and today. Did really badly in most subjects as I expected so,

no comments on that ! Really looking forward to watching

X-Men 3 lah ! Oh, and I saw Mabel today. She came back from

Australia to visit us but I guess I can't go for lunch with her.

Just trying to update everything today anddd...

Til then,

Leo.

Why you gotta be so mean ? o:

2011-05-20T19:53:00.003+08:00

One day I'll be living in a big old city,

all you're ever gonna be is mean.

Well well well, I can say that I have failed more

than one subject in this mid-term examinations.

I have totally screwed up my physics, add maths

and not to mention biology. More have yet to

come, this is only half of the torture. 3 more days

next week until I'd be set free momentarily ! ..

until the results start coming in ? :/

Seriously, I am going to drop down til the

20th ~ 39th position in class because I haven't

really been focusing on studies, and when I do

I can't concentrate. Wookay, red marks in my

report card (:

I can't can't can't wait to go to

the movies, or ice-skating or simply just yumcha

after this torture is over ! Kungfu Panda, X-Men 3,

etc etc I'm coming ! :D. Trisha, I promise you

I'll go yumcha with you some time soon (:

It's been awhile. Mhmmmmm..

I know right, so pathetic of me to be thinking bout

what I'm gonna do after this instead of studying.

PISS TO YOU SON OF A BUSH ( books ).

Next few subjects I'd be worrying about are

Accounts, Physics I, and Chemistry..

I have been playing LoL everyday after school

during this exam week to 'release stress' xP !

Also, Big Bang has come to MapleSEA and I have

yet to re-join maple and explore, because Eugene

who was supposed to copy the files to me, LOST

my precious pen-drive ):

Til then,
Leo.

I'm fragile like tat, me like glass yo ):

2011-05-09T20:04:00.002+08:00

This town used to be a pretty place to stay
A place you'd stop off on the highway
But all of those things changed on a day
You packed up your bags
And you ran away

-3Oh!3's R.I.P

I've just had a taste of Physics today. I really don't

know how I'm gonna pull it off for the mid-terms.

Here I am wasting my time on the computer, but I

just can't study with all these thoughts in my mind.

Really need a way to clear my mind and study.

I realize I'm so fragile, that I get hurt so easily. Others

may not see it because I ought to be smiling all the time.

Some people say when I smile or laugh at something

little, I look really happy and excited. No, really I am

not. It's shattering deep inside. Sometimes, I like looking

back at life, all the stuff I've been through and reading

back chatboxes, flashback of memories really make me

wanna tear a drop or two. All these have gone and is

past tense, they are never coming back again. Sorry to

say Leo, it's goodbye. People come and go in life, some

times we just have to accept it and stop asking why.

Some things, are never meant to be. I'll just let you decide,

how you want things for us to be. I won't try anymore,

don't wanna try, don't wanna try, don't wanna try.

I want to delete you from my life. I've misjudged you, I

thought you were the one that would understand and

think reasonably but you're just the same. Never expected

anything more than just understanding and acceptance.

So much for saying you'd make sure things go back to

normal. Sayonara.

Sincerely,
Leo.

080511;

2011-05-08T22:08:00.000+08:00

I'm just a holy fool, baby why you so cruel ?

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there !

And also to my beloved mother, who has brought

me into this world (:

Happy Mother's Day !

Well, you have been my mother for roughly 15 years ++, and

you are the awesomest person alive that I know of (: , you stay

so strong when times are hard, and you always tend to bring

this family back together. You always suffer the most being the

middle person in the house and you also work the hardest in the

market everyday. So I will not forget all you have done for me,

and I will continue helping you out every weekend in market.

I love you, mom ! (:

Til then,
Leo.

Who do you think you are ?

2011-05-04T19:52:00.001+08:00

Who do you think you are?
Runnin' round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

Exactly one week til exams, and I have yet to

understand anything. I know I've said this repeatedly.

I've tried, in school and I can't focus with all these

stuff going on in my mind. I'm glad i'm not the only

one. There are some people undergoing problems

way worst than me but I'm just really hurt.

May, why you so mean to me ?

Sometimes, no matter how much you want for things

to happen, all you can do is wait. And usually, waiting

is the hardest part. It's so suffering but time is the only

cure.. You've plucked my heartstrings and left a scar.

Sometimes, I really ask myself. Is telling the truth

really that important ? I don't think so anymore, it is

better to hide than to tell someone the truth.Why are

people so materialistic that they can just put aside

everything, all that you and I have been through and

forget everything just because the truth has been

confessed. Does it really matter ? Does it really change

anything ? I've always been like this towards you, you

never knew it, not until recently. Does revealing the

truth make me any different ? I never expected

anything from you, just acceptance and understanding.

Sigh, all I have to do is wait and wait while everything

fades away. Truthfully, I hate you because you can

choose what to do and I'm given no choice.

Til then,

Leo.

You leave me hanging.

2011-05-02T23:20:00.001+08:00

So much for saying that you'd make sure things go
back to normal.

Anyway, exams is around the corner. I have like a

week and 2 days to literally understand everything

that has been taught in school, which is actually

impossible. I have to start from scratch for I have

totally no idea what's going on in school nymore.

School sucks :<. So yeah, wait til you see my

beautiful new record of red ( fails ) in my report

card. I don't give a flying fuck :D.

The other day when my family and I went to PizzaHut,

the service was so bad. Their trying to maximize their

profit by minimizing the number of workers. We saw

so many empty tables left uncleaned, and people

waiting to order as well as people waiting for clean

tables to settle down and be served. So we kinda

hopped over to KFC and had dinner. Sorry just saying

that their service is really bad ya know ?

At least I'm not like my dad. Seriously, there is not

one time where when we go out to eat, that he would

not complain about the food or give bad comments

on the restaurant. He should open one himself (Y).

Sometimes I just want to act like I don't know him,

and walk away because it's embarrassing how he

acts in public. Like yesterday out of like 4 or 5

chicken in his sizzling chicken noodle, 1 of it was

kind of bony with a little flesh. He made a big fuss

out of it. Congratulations dad, we are so 'NOT'

embarrassed by you. :/

Til then,
Leo.

Are you there ? Are you there ?

2011-04-28T23:53:00.000+08:00

Simply tumbling all alone, staring into the velvet sky.

Before I realize it, it's already the end of April.

Mid-term exams are less than 2 weeks away, I

have yet to understand anything. I don't see any

purpose of living the same old rat race, studying

in school, nagged to study at home which I

obviously don't. What's the use of studying in

school when we still have to go back and revise ?

That's so no life. And that's why I don't care. If

you see a drastic drop in my grades, don't be

surprised. It's just, things haven't been working out

lately and I don't give a flying fuck bout shit nymore.

I so hate myself, why am I so stupid ?

There are stuff I can't explain myself, and stuff

that I can't talk about to anyone but myself. Theres

only one person in mind, but that person is mainly

the cause so basicly noone I could talk to. I really

wanna go to the ocean side and scream it all out, and

then jump into the deep blue ocean and close my

eyes. I'll just float away to the shores of the nearest

island where I'd be alone, in isolation.

Life, is unfair. Face it Leo.

Til then,
Leo.

Silly Love Songs

2011-04-27T22:33:00.001+08:00

I hate that I love you,

Alrighty, silly silly me. Today, during biology class, our

teacher passed out the intensive test papers that we

handed in last week. It turned out that there were 2

papers with Deanna's name written on it. She thought

it was Rodney's prank but no really, it was me. You

can't really blame me because I can remember it was

a really sleepy morning, where Dhaksha and Deanna

had already dozed off and I didn't know the answer

so I took Deanna's and copied from top to bottom

including her name. I know right, I'm dumb :<
Also, I've finished watching all episodes of Glee, &
waiting for the Season 2's 18th Episode to air
somewhat this week.

Is it really that I'm a good actor, because I actually

put up a show today as though nothing happened.

I really have no appetite to eat, I can't sleep and

when I finally get to, nightmares of you with

someone else wakes me up and I'd be totally

relieved it was only a dream.. I really don't know

how to live right now, literally. I came across a

song with the lyrics ' Live your life, be free. You

know you can have it all '. I'd really wanna do

that but I just can't think straight right now..

Til then,
Leo.

You never fail to cross my mind everyday

2011-04-26T16:10:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was awesome, paintball was awesome !

We were short of 5 people to 20 pax, so Deanna's

mom tagged along and played with us to even it up.

So it was 8 versus 8, and really it was exhausting

but worth it. I didn't really get shot much but I

dropped out of the game because I was out of

paintball 'bullets'. Simply put, fun fun fun ! :D

Today, I woke up late and skipped school because

I forgot to reset back my alarm to the usual timing.

I totally feel like getting banged by a car or get

runover by a truck literally.

Now that I have told you, maybe you would know

why 'Because I'm Stupid' is my favourite song.. I

know you don't read this blog of mine, but I'm sorry

if I scared you, I did not choose this road. You don't

have to avoid me, I will keep my distance from you.

That way, it wouldn't hurt as much.

I'm sorry that I love you.

Til then,
Leo

Misconception

2011-04-23T22:34:00.002+08:00

Hey youuu, stop messing with my head :<

Alrighty ! Today I had to go to school on a Saturday morning,

pathetic huh ? In addition to that were two long speeches by

the mayor and the principal. Bah whatever, I went there to get

my certificate for my straight A's for PMR and also money !

RM50 only though, good enough for me ba :>.

After that, had to rush to Joy Cafe and join cg members for

lunch. Awesome lunch, and we played mafia wars since it was

free cg we just chit-chatted. Ironic how my blur and innocent

face expression could make them think I'm the mafia(murderer),

when really I am not xP. I was really tired from school :<

Nyway, was supposed to go to Woodz Cafe for dinner for

Jian, Pei Ing and Shiah Jing's birthday celebration. Well, it

seems the plan didn't work out for most of us so it's postponed.

Stay tuned to that, and there might be an outing to go play

paintball on Monday, which is thankfully a school holiday.

We're going there with Deanna, as she wants to play paintball

for her birthday outing xP, but I don't think it will work out

though. Thanks to some people who were kind enough to

organize it but then turned out to chicken out today. It's alright,

they might not have the guts to play xP, or maybe it's just

some money issue or exams. Goddamn exams is around

the corner, I ought to survive this test.

I'm really disturbed by an issue in my life where I really can't

tell anyone about it and have to suffer all the way til it all ends.

Next week, I think it will be over. All the worrying and

suffocating arggh. We'll see how it goes, whatever happens,

happens. Gonna blurt it all out :<

Til then,
Leo.

Magnets

2011-04-19T23:33:00.000+08:00

You pulled me close, but now you're pushing me away. :/

Well, things started to clear up andd gotten better. As usual,

I was overreacting after all. And that is a good thing because

at least I can get through the day without thinking of it again.

Mhhm, this Saturday is Students' Awards Day, and I am

supposed to show up to collect my certificate, and money,

for scoring straight A's for my PMR. To be honest, I'm only

going for the money, and I would really like to take the cert

and tear it into pieces. Because it wasn't even for me, it was

for two people who controls my life. :<

Today is Deanna's Birthday ! Rodney made a cake all by

himself and his main ingredients are Oreo and Cheese !

Oh boy, my favourite combination. We really didn't believe

he made it, and wasn't confident of how it was gonna taste.

It didn't taste like how it looks, it was DELICIOUS !

Craving for more ! Raped Deanna's cake LOL !

Okay, so Deanna !

Happy Sweet 16th to you ! :D

We welcome you to our class, 4a9 this year as you dropped

Chinese, and we hope it wasn't a mistake for you because

we want you to enjoy our presence as much as we

cherish you (:, you are that sweet nice pretty fair fit strong

healthy athletic co-curricular sexy girl next door. LOL I'm

just simply writing characteristics here. Mhmm, so I hope

you have a great year this year andd, hope you can cope

up in studies like the rest of us, since you're an athlete,

because it really has been a tough year for me.

Wish you all the best and excel in your athletics as well !

Happy Sweet 16th ! (:

Fear

2011-04-12T14:51:00.000+08:00

When the 'stars' are finally gone, the moon and the
sun still don't get together, because they just weren't
meant to be..

Today, I went to school with a mask. A mask of fear, and

doubts, pretending everything was okay. Nothing is okay.

When I came home I just had to let the fury go. I feel like

buying a punching bag so I can let go all of my anger.

Full of jealousy, anger and self-depression.

You're never there when I need you,

you never acknowledge me, and you never will.

When I thought I could get away with all of this, someone

knew something was quite not right. Janice, you can really

read my expressions. She knew something was up :<.

This month is gonna be the beginning of despair for me,

I must stray away, and fight this and face the facts.

Also, Happy Birthday to

Dhakshayani !

I saved up my wish til the end of the day, and then the

class sang the birthday song to you after. You are a really

smart girl, especially anything to do with mathematics and

calculations. You will definitely excel in life, and you are

of great 'mothership' qualities. No, not leadership but you

would be a great mother some day, because we all know

you are a failure as a leader, as to how you lead us in

siviks project during the holidays ! xP

Happy Sweet 16th to you ! :3

Til then,
Leo

You caught me off guard

2011-04-11T21:57:00.002+08:00

You broke it again !

Music sometimes really just, does the talking for me.

It's a way to express our feelings, through music. Don't

you ever sometimes feel like the song you're hearing totally

explains everything you're going through ? Well, my all time

favorite korean song would be SS501's Because I'm Stupid.

Some time like this last year, you torn me apart. And now

history repeats itself. Just that sentence from you killed me,

literally. Once bitten twice shy, twice beaten I feel like I

want to die. Why am I overreacting ? Should be happy for

you. Dammnit, i'm too selfish. Why must it be from you ?

Please tell me it is just a lie. I wish it was all a lie..

Maybe I love you too much, to let you go.
But only to know i'm clapping with one hand.

Til then,
Leo

I wanna hold your hand..

2011-04-10T17:58:00.012+08:00

I feel like an idiot, I'm disappointed in you.

So lately, I've been eating a lot. After school on Friday, I had

lunch, and then headed to Snowflake with my family and CM.

After that, went to McDonald's where Rodney came along.

Yesterday, had a fantastic dinner at my grandmother's house,

celebrating my cousin brother's son, Marcus Quah's 1st b'day.

That's enough to prove that I'm getting flabby, and need to start

working out. Need to get the dumbbells back from my tenant.

I sure need a hell load of motivation to get my ass moving.

I've been watching Glee and really. I learn a lot from this show.

Friends are really all you need. There may be changes in roles,

whether from a rival to a best friend or vice versa, cling on to

whoever that means something to you. There are ups and

downs in life, but that doesn't mean you can't get the fullest

out of it and enjoy whatever you have left. Even til the very

last moment, don't stop believing and stand up for yourselves.

Today, is 10th of April.
Happy Sweet 16th to;

Amanda Young.

Girl, you've been a great friend and one thing I like about you,

is that you stand up for yourself when you know you're not

wrong and you try to make things right. People sometimes say

you're one of those bad chicks that wouldn't hatch out of an

egg or in this case, bloom into a flower xP. But I know you

are a good girl, trying to live a simple happy life. Sweet 16th

to you ! I guess you had a blast today, but cheers to the year

ahead of you ! You have indeed bloomed into a flower, and

even though we may not talk to each other as much anymore,

but do keep in mind we sat together in class for a full year in

Form 2, and it was and still is, good to have you as a friend !

Happy Sweet 16th, again I wish to you, Amanda Young !

Anisa Zakaria.

Happy Sweet 16th to you too, Anisa !

I have known you for a very long time since primary school.

To be honest, most people look down on Malays, because

racism is everywhere. And I, sometimes dislike Malays too

especially those dudes with idiotic behavior but I'm not going

to stereotype, and you are obviously a sweet girl. You are

in fact one of the nicest malay girls I've met. Kudos to the

bright future ahead of you, and I wish all the best to you in life

(:, Happy Sweet 16th, Anisa.

Last but not least, to my beloved Accounts and BM teacher,

Pn.Mazni.

Pn.Mazni and her daughter (:

Happy birthday to you, you are a really great teacher and,

you talk really fast. Lol and that is a good thing because

sometimes it just keeps me awake rather than being bored

and doze off in class. Thank you for all your teaching

because a student is not a student without a teacher, and all

our successes comes down to you who teach us patiently

day by day despite the mistakes we have done to hurt you.

Happy birthday, and thank you for being my teacher ! (:

Til then,
Leo

Good day, some day.

2011-04-06T21:35:00.006+08:00

I can't help but falling deeper into this pit of love..

Mhmmm, so today I got lazy and ditched school together with xiang.

Walked him to my house and then we played LoL. I was yawning

all the time :l, too sleepy even in the morning itself. Well we
figured it would be nice to take a day off school and hang out.

And as for yesterday. went to his house after school as the dudes

wanted to rehearse for their second audition. Played basketball
for a bit after that. I'm really not the type for sports I guess ? I
couldn't aim properly, xP and I keep forgetting the rules.
Ain't my thing.

On side note, today is Tse Ann's birthday !

Well, a group of us had a simple b'day lunch with her on Monday,
after school at Wings Music Cafe. The food was good, drinks were
nice too. After that, they decided to head to Snowflake, to have a
bowl of dessert. I shared with sukyi, as I was full already. We
weren't the only ones there, guess who we saw ?
Chee weng and his ----.

Happy Sweet 16th to you, Tse Ann.

I don't really know you that well but you have been my classmate
for 4 years. You are a nice girl, smart too. Sometimes you seem
kinda blur, but that's alright. Just don't be as blur as chee meng.
Lol xP. Have a great year ahead ! God Bless.

Tse Ann ! :D

Kavitra's ' Blue Thing '

My bubble milk tea. :3

Her mini cake ! xP

I have started to watch Glee, Season One and been watching it

these few days. Honestly, I used to think Glee was a show gays

and freaks would watch, because of someone lol. I took these

videos from xiang, and also How I Met Your Mother. I'm too

bored nowadays so maybe I thought I would waste some time

on these :D. Glee is really entertaining, it expresses one's feeling

in high school and the things most of us go through. And of

course, it's all about the music that attracts me, and the hot girls

xP. So don't judge me now hater if you dislike Glee like I used to!

I haz to go naos, I was supposed to hand in 30 malay model essays

today, but I'm still not done with it, so gonna rush off to
completing my work nao. Peace out !

Some day, you will acknowledge me..

Til then,
Leo

Your love is a lie

2011-04-03T02:37:00.000+08:00

I lied, I'm actually for real..

Heyyy, it's been awhile since I've written something.

It doesn't feel comfortable to write here on my lappy,

but since I haven't gotten a new set of keyboard and mouse,

I don't think I'm going to use my desktop in the mean time.

Sooo, my school life is screwed up. I hazn't done homeworks,

in likewhut ? 30 Malay model essays, 15 English model essays,

and load crap of other shit waiting to be finished. I just wanna

know, how does that help a student with his/her grades ? Hmm.

Okay, went to cc yesterday after school. Played dota after a

very long time and I totally forgot how to play, because I've

been playing League of Legends too much. Sorry I'm gonna be

mentioning about games today because I've finally gone back

to gaming, which I know I will get bored of and stop sooner or

later. AikaSEA is a very cute game :3, so OBT starts on 12th

April. Tell me if you wanna play with me ! :D

2 days ago, it was April Fools' Day. I didn't try any lame pranks

in school because I felt that it was unnecessary, until when I

went back home I felt bored. So I tried to prank a few people.

I made my first april fool of the day, and then he made me one

minutes later. How fail can I get ? xP.

Til then,
Leo

I'm wonderstruck !

2011-03-26T21:41:00.002+08:00

Aight, so it's Saturday ! A day that comes after FRIDAY.

It's Friday.. Friday.. the viral video Rebecca Black's Friday,

has even got into the news, and as I am writing this, she has

got about 53 million views on her music video, Friday. I really

feel bad for her because she did not, write that song. It's a

totally meaningless song telling us about the days and how fun

Friday is, and is written by the 'professionals' of
ArkMusicFactory, which is the company/community that helps
young people make their records and labels heard, and be
known for their voice. So I heard Rebecca Black sing a part
of the national anthem, and she really can sing alright, it's just
Friday isn't the song for her. Feel so bad for her. Those terrible
haters asking her to cut herself and go suicide.

Wookay, so Saturday. After helping my mom in the market,

the initial plan was to go to SPCA and visit, as well as take care

of animals there for our Moral's community service project.

Since they were closed today, so we have to try another day.

I slept all I can before CG ( held in my house ), starts because

Leo iz tired all teh time ):

Then I went to Midvalley with Xiang and his mom. Had Baskin

Robins then went for Bowling. Oh my god I totally wanted to

take a picture of our scores after we were done, but I had to

wait for my phone camera's autofocus to adjust. By the time it

was done focusing, the monitor turned off and I couldn't snap it.

So we sucked REAL BAD, especially in the beginning. But I

won him ! HAHA ! I got like 60++, and he scored like 40~50+

Dinner at Kenny Rogers and head back home.

Loser !

Lucky winner :D

Noob la weih ! xP

Bowling shot

Me aiming, blur..

Here I am now, typing this. Really eager to sleep because it's

a Saturday ! :< Lots of rumors these days. If you ever happen

to hear a rumor about you, just LOL ! LOL at those stupid

rumors and laugh at those idiots trying to get you :D

Til then,
Leo

Waiting on you

2011-03-22T20:26:00.001+08:00

Because i'm stupid,

Because I'm so stupid and such a fool
My eyes don't see nobody but you
Even though I know you love someone else
You could never know the pain that I felt

You probably never think of me at all
And I know we have no memories
But the one who really wants you is me
In the end only my tears will fall

I stay, you walk away
I stand back, watching you day by day
You can't see that I'm so in love with you
Like the wind you just fly right through

There are days when I just miss you so much
There are days when I just long for your touch
"I love you" somehow flies right off my lips and so
Once again I'm left crying for you
Once again I'm left here missing you
Baby I love you I'm waiting for you
You forgot me, but I'm waiting for you

You'll probably never have a dream of me
And I know I'm in love all alone
That's why we don't really have memories
In the end, I'll make them all on my own
Love's like a river of tears
That will flow whenever you're not here
Even though your heart will never be mine
It's enough just seeing you smile

Bye, bye, never say goodbye
Even though it's not me by your side
I need you , I just can't say it but I want you
I cannot stop wishing for you

You're so selfish, letting me wait on you..

Til then,
Leo

Strawberry Avalanche

2011-03-21T23:13:00.005+08:00

How great it would be, if natural disasters were flowers blooming

out and sprinkling all over the ocean, burst out of volcanoes &

so on. If only earthquakes were strawberry avalanches..

): free strawberries.

So if you haven't heard, dear Mr.Vijayan, or often referred to

as VJ, or ' that cute bear bear teacher ', an awesome teacher

and friend, has passed away yesterday morning due to liver

cancer. May you rest in peace, Mr.VJ. I don't really know you

that well because you don't teach me any subjects in school.

But I know you're a funny and nice guy. I don't think there's

anyone that hates you in school, unless they're like mad or

something. You make little jokes that make us laugh, even when

you come in on relief periods. I couldn't make it to his funeral this

afternoon because I don't have transportation to go. The school

collected donations for his family, as well as for the Japan tsunami

victims. It's the only little thing I could contribute, but whatever

it is, you're an awesome teacher and friend, and will always be

remembered in the memoirs of our hearts. Rest in peace..

Disasters everywhere, cold weather and I'm freezing all the time.

How I wish this was all a terrible nightmare that I could wake up,

forgetting everything ? So school started today. I'm so used to

waking up late in the morning, so I felt really tired in school.

Dozed off during bio class :l, and though its freezing I went to

Snowflake today, haha. Tried the Lemon Jade Jelly Ice, sourish !

That's all for now, more updates next time!

Til then,
Leo.

Enchanted

2011-03-19T11:31:00.005+08:00

It was enchanting to meet you too (:

Heyyy, I haven't updated in about a week. Guess I was too tired

to actually do anything in the past few days. Duh, it's the holidays.

Well, so yeah I did not do any homework, or whatsoever this week.

Totally slacking off my ass, probably on the computer most of the
time. I've been staying up til really late, and I even noticed more
red veins on my eyes now like I'm some mad scientist or something.
:l staring at the computer screen too much ?

It's actually the first weekend of the year that I did not go out
anywhere, but I guess it was worth it. Those moments of sleeping
late in the morning, totally worth it. Haven't done that for so long,
and my latest record of the week is waking up at 2pm :D.

So yesterday, went to xiang's house in the morning to chill and
hangout, also played League of Legends there. And after that, I
walked to Elise's house to celebrate Hui En's 16th birthday. It was
the first time I went to her house, and the security is quite tight.
It's a good thing, but I feel that it's kind of annoying and even
with such security, there are neighbors who steal others' shoes.
Lol, & cheemeng is a totally failure. I arrived late, sorry :l and all
of them had their lunch already. So they were playing Stacko
while I was eating. I dislike the Tiramisu cake, probably all of us
did, lol. After that we played 'Bluff' and cheemeng fails again.
She just can't stop getting 'bluffed' by me, even with Elise's help.

Shoutout to Hui En.

Happy Sweet 16th Birthday to you (:

Although I don't know you really well, but it's nice to meet you.

All I know is that you like to laugh a lot at unnecessary things,
and that's a good thing (:, and you also like to 'ZHA BORH', xP.

Hope you really had a good time, and have a great year ahead !

Sorry I came empty-handed, could only contribute for the cake :S

Til then,
Leo.

You pierced right through o:

2011-03-12T23:13:00.009+08:00

You're just making it worst,
Warning : Long post xP

Alrighty, holidays has hit the doorbell. Why heylloo, I can

finally sleep in til late in the morning, without worrying of

being late or anything. Totally need to catch up on sleep ):

Maria Aragon, you have made it and you're rising as a

young star. You have a great voice at such a young age,

I'm sure you will be superb when you grow older. Lady

Gaga called you, and you had a conversation with her !

Keep following your heart and pursue your dreams, don't

listen to what others say, there's gonna be haters out there.

Hope you'll rise as a Maria Aragon, God's creation with

a gifted voice, unlike Justin, an Usher's creation.

Good Luck !

Japan, we are here with you. We all know without you,

there wouldn't be high-tech in this world. You made it real,

and you've came to a great loss due to natural disasters.

Without Japan, I would have not ever discovered sushi, my

favorite food. I am so disturbed by the people of the world

that are currently complaining about what they have, while

most of the people in Japan are suffering in pain, most of

which are homeless, and those with homes with no electricity.

May the victims of the 8.9 earthquake and tsunami rest in peace.

Right now, we should learn to appreciate whatever and

whoever we have. You don't know when the end is coming.

I am not saying that I believe it's the end of the world, but

that doesn't mean you have to WAIT till its the end of the

world, to only learn to appreciate others and spend more time

with your loved ones. So today, cherish every moment with

your loved ones, especially your family. Love is powerful.

If you haven't heard the news, you must be a hippopotamus.

God be with Japan.

Recently, my friends and I have been trying to plan an outing

together to go out on weekends, a visit to the park to actually

jog, do some exercise and keep fit. Health is important, fat

or not you need to exercise. Though we are not always as

motivated, but I believe we can do it. Jogging plans always

fail ):, blame the rain, transport, parents and everything else.

Today, there was cg in my house. Attendance kinda low, but

expected more people as its the beginning of the holidays.

Almost everyone in cg knows how to play a guitar, literally.

I felt so embarrassed because I have all the instruments in my

house and yet, I ought to play any. Dad also left me a guitar

in my room, which I have yet to learn how to play. Fail me ):

Had mamak after that, and then Amanda met up with me

when they left. Well she did something really sweet for her

boyfriend, so kudos to you. Your baking is okay ! Liked the

muffin x), hope your relationship with him works out fine til

the end, just don't lose out on studies ! xP

When the clock strikes 12, it shall be March 13.
That means, Happy Birthday to Jun Xiang.

Sweet kiss during PRS Race huh ! Hahaha.

So, happy 16th birthday to you !

You are a nice guy, who knows his limits and what to do,

alert and smart. You're a fairly mature dude, whom I know
is not another jerk. You are a friend to keep, we may have

been through a lot, under many circumstances and also

misunderstandings. Friends aren't meant to not argue xP

The only sad thing is that you were born with a ruthless,

dad that I wouldn't want to get started with. Hope that as

you grow older, you'll learn more about life and its balances!

Have a blast on your 16th birthday, although we kind of

celebrated it already. Happy birthday dude ! (:
Seems like two years also can't hang out with you on your
birthday xP, its okay have fun with your friends bro !

Til then,
Leo

You don't have to win, to win.

2011-03-08T23:29:00.004+08:00

Heyllooo, it's a new week (:

Right, so I went for jogging on Sunday. The rain almost ruined

our plan but it didn't, unfortunately for Adeline, it did. It was

raining heavily at her place, so she couldn't join us for jogging

at the park. So it was just Deanna, Rodney and me. It's like

the 3 of us are categorized into different grades. Deanna's the

athletic superwoman that can never get tired of jogging, I'm in

the middle, and Rodney is the miniature who couldn't even last

the first 5 minutes. Sorry Rodney, it is the truth. xP

Well, can't believe I lost to a girl in jogging but the fact is she's

an athlete and trains everyday. x( I'm really that unhealthy and

haz uber low stamina. Really need to jog more often and get fit.

Woookay, so it's Tuesday. Got loads of homeworks. Need an

example ? 5 uncompleted english essays, 1 malay essay, and

loads of uncompleted notes. That's how lazy I am. Okay so I

am here blogging at late 11pm, and not even getting the work

done. Well let's just say I'm too tired because went to JX's house

right after school, and then napped for abit. After that I went to

work. It's a once-in-a-month*/once-in-2-months* thing. I go

to this small little church, a long with my vacuum cleaner, and suck

all the dirt out of the floor which takes bout an hour, and gets
RM100. Sounds easy eh? (:
You do it, it's tiring but yeah it's kinda easy LOL.

So the results of the class came out today. I earned the 9th place.

Good enough, I was expecting to be worst than 20. I'm at least

happy that I got the most A+'s in class, that is 3. Ain't much of

an achievement but at least I got something to tell my mom. x) !

Real eyes, realize, real lies.

Til then,
Leo

Poppertarts

2011-03-05T23:23:00.001+08:00

x) Super exhausting, but yet an awesome day.

I don't know why but I feel quite lucky today. Usually it would

take half an hour or more for the bus to come. Surprisingly,

today the buses came right after we reach the bus stop, twice.

Okay, so Jay and I met up with Bryan and we went to Midvalley,

to watch some movies. First we wanted to watch ' Drive Angry ',

and then ' No Strings Attached '. Sorry, but plan failed due to

some reasons we didn't look old enough to pass for Drive Angry.

We are obviously under 18 ): damn. So we had our tickets

changed for the movie Beastly. It was okay, just okay. XP

2nd try, No Strings Attached. We got in without being stopped.

Luckily I told them to hide and snuggle behind me, while I pass

the tickets over. Haha, the movie was nice but many scenes cut..

One thing funny was, we met Choir Yin in midvalley. She was

like everywhere, literally. First we sat the same bus to there, and

then we saw her again in the ticketing booth at the theatre, and

then at the gift shop we were exploring, when she smiled at me

and then I said hi and talked to her for the first time. Surprisingly,

we knew each other since we're in the same school but never

really ' knew ' each other. Jay was kinda jealous cause he was

like ' Choir Yin over there ! ' ' Choir Yin over here ! ' Lol.

And in the end of the day, when we went to the bus stop after

watching 2 movies and etc we saw her again, same bus.

Fusion Haven, we went to this place recommended by Li Yueng.

Its her birthday ! Well we're celebrating it one day early, and

a lot of people showed up. It was also celebrating Jun Xiang's

part on behalf. Our crowd was crazy, and we kind of scared a

few customers away, because of how noisy we were. Long story

short, we had dinner together, had Elise and Sophia come and

join us since the rest are from the same class, took pictures and

had loads of fun ! :D

Happy Sweet 16th Liyueng,

You're getting older, I'm sorry to say.

But that doesn't mean you'll get any lesser in our minds.

Hope you will succeed in life, and this is kind of a same

old common birthday speech.. but I really mean that I

hope you'll be successful in everything you do, not just

studies ! You were born a superstar, never forget that.

(: , hope your precious wishes come true ! :D

Once the clock strikes 12am, you're officially 16 girl !
Again I wish you, a very happy 16th birthday ! xP.

Til then,
Leo.

Born This Way

2011-03-02T22:03:00.003+08:00

I'm beautiful in my way, 'cause god makes no mistakes.

I'm on the right track, baby I was born this way.

Everyone was born into this world, no other different than any

other human, there shouldn't be status grading neither labels

put on anyone. You were born this way. So today, don't judge

others because they are special in their own way. I'm not saying

I never judged anyone before even by appearance, but try not

to, because we are all humans and we make mistakes (:

I know of a guy who once was betrayed by his best friend, all

because of one girl. His friend literally 'stole' his girlfriend away

from him, and there goes a few years of friendship into the drain

because of love. Is it really worth it ? To give up a true friendship

for a relationship you won't know would last until marriage. It is

a good thing he realized what the girl really is, a bitch.

He was once a head prefect, a famous spot light attraction and

now he sits alone, by the corner everyday. Praying for his enemies

praying for those who betrayed him, praying for the ones he hates.

Even I, could never be able to do that. That, is a true pure heart.

In the religion of the insecure,

give yourself prudence and love your friends !
P.S: I failed my add maths today, got 10%. :D

Til then,
Leo

Rain, you pour into my heart.

2011-03-01T22:01:00.001+08:00

Heylloo ! These few days, waking up's been a hassle.

So hard to get out of that bed full of freaking fluffy soft pillows.

Is it weird or is it just me that when I attempt to sleep early,

I fail to wake up feeling more energetic, and vice versa when

I sleep late, I can wake up early without feeling sleepy at all.

Today after school,I left my bag at Jx's house & walked to OUG.

Oh my god, I was looking for a nice Hotlink Number, and

sadly, I couldn't find the new 3+8 ( 11 ) Numbers. They

just don't seem to have it in stock yet in most stores ! Damn.

So due to my desperation, I looked for the nicest number that

suited me, and wanted to buy it. That store was like wtf, like

I had to press the machine, get a number, take a seat and

wait for my turn at the counter. Fml, it rained when I finally

bought the sim pack. Walked to Jx's house to get my bag

and I was soaking wet. But I just love the rain, so.. :D

The rain, reminds me of an unforgettable memory.

Til then,
Leo

Timesquare, Time²

2011-02-27T22:06:00.002+08:00

Finally home, dead tired and exhausted.

Our group had our first outing together today, at Timesquare.

Watched ' I Am Number 4 ', quite nice but curious of what's

gonna come soon, probably gonna have 2nd part, I hope !

I didn't manage to buy any clothes there ): because Rodney

and Eugene were totally being fags not in the mood to even walk

and look around the shops, and I was the only one walking in and

out of shops. Hi Eugene if you're reading this, HELLO ! :D

Anyway, I only bought a bottle, and my favourite, black glasses.

Anddddd, also Aaron Lew's RM70 book present. Expensive !

Nerdy nerddd :D

Say cheese ! :D

The Poison Tree

Til then,
Leo.

To make a stand

2011-02-26T23:56:00.004+08:00

Stand for yourself, never be shaken.

Friday - 25th February

Alright, Aaron's 'simple birthday lunch'. We went to Pizza Hut

after school and had lunch with him. I feel that he is actually

treating everyone a little too good, especially those who make

fun of him, and don't even care about his existence. All he wants

is just a simple birthday lunch with his classmates for his 16th

birthday. So we hung out with him, he is an innocent sincere boy.

And today ! Saturday.

There wasn't much of a planned weekend for me, so I spent

my day sleeping until evening, to cope up with the sleeps I haven't

been getting during the weekdays ! xP and then today we had

the first CG outing, BBQ party at Zk's house. It was awesome,

got to meet new people. Food was great, and the different thing

is CG isn't in my house for the first time ! Haha. Also I think that

some of us really opened up ourselves with the problems we face,

and how God helps us in His respective ways.

A mistake, more like an experience, can really change one's life.

Either for the better or the worst, you are the one to decide it.

You make your stand and withstand everything in your way.

It doesn't matter what others think about you, the world is wicked.

Very materialistic and it's hard to seek a pure heart in these times.

As long as you don't lose your mind and your control over yourself,

and as long as you know who you are, the world doesn't matter.

People change, you don't change them. Also don't try to change

yourself to suit the environment around you, when you're not the

problematic one. Never give in and never ever lie to yourself.

You are what you are, you are perfect in someone's eyes.

Til then,
Leo

Sweetness in salt.

2011-02-23T21:06:00.002+08:00

If only everyone can taste the sweetness in salt,

Everyone ought to learn to see things in a different perspective,

and learn to see the other side of things. There is always a

reason for everything. If only everyone could see the good side

of the bad or the half-full bottle of water in all they go through.
Mistakes are a motivation for you to improve, and make you
better. If it brings you down and you give up, you're a loser.

I came across this movie, ' The Lake House ' the other day,

and I feel that it is a very interesting movie. It explains how

love is not by the appearance only, not that it doesn't matter

but love is expressed with the soul, and spirit of one heart's core.

We may not express our loves to our beloved ones around us,

but it doesn't mean we don't care and it can be expressed in

even the little things we do for them. Acknowledge who loves

you today, and take care of them in the little ways you could.

Results of the so-called 'monthly test' is rumored to be going
into the report card, which sucks because I did really badly
in a few subjects. Shit happens. Oh, and I don't know why

but I really feel like learning Korean ! But I don't think I will
be able to find the time, and the money to take such unnecessary
classes. Maybe some day, in my life time.

Til then,
Leo.

I Promised Myself.

2011-02-21T22:19:00.001+08:00

A brand new tomorrow.

I just got a few results for the test I sat for last week.

It isn't an important test or anything, but surprisingly,
I got the highest marks of 28/30 for Biology.

Seriously, I hate that subject and I never expected to

even pass. Even then, on that day after that paper I

literally went crazy and was disappointed in myself.

I only revised Biology on that day itself, right before the

test. This is gonna be a strive for me to keep moving

forward and try not to do last minute revisions, as well

as pay more attention in boring subjects that are all about

memorizing names and facts. A test is a test, and it leads

to bigger things like exams and all that shit.

I believe 10th grade is not a game anymore, it's getting

more serious. There are some aspects in a way that there

is more peace, and times to joke around. But hey come

on, you got to believe in yourself and that is all there is for

you to rely on. Trust noone, for all you got is yourself.

Actions speak more than words.
Intentions speak louder than actions.

Til then,
Leo.

Summer Fragrance

2011-02-19T10:40:00.008+08:00

Aight, so I've finally sat for all the test papers !

They can kiss mah bootay goodbye nao. :D
I've came back from the dead, some papers were so

freaken easy, that all you gotta do is sit down, relax,
look around and leave your paper blank. XP.

I'm talking bout Additional Mathematics especially.

18th February 2011

Alrighty ! So after being free from paperworks, I

headed back home and prepared Adeline's surprise !

It was already kind of an obvious planning, but who

cares ~ At least she had a great time with us. We kind

of tried to disappoint Adeline on her birthday, that she

wasn't important or anything, and then today we threw

her a surprise partay ! I invited Elise and she had to

hide because the birthday girl arrived too early ! Haha.

Everything went well and,

Happy Sweet 16th Birthday to you, Firaun Adeline !

Mizz Shinee !

Chee Meng looking at the camera for the first time !

Til then,
Leo.

Peppermint Winter.

2011-02-13T15:03:00.001+08:00

Okay, so its Sunday and tomorrow's the first day of test.

Let me tell you, I haven't touched a single book yet.

Leo, you better do soon before you regret next week!

So last night I was in the bathroom, to brush my teeth.

I took my toothbrush, and then I took the toothpaste.

Then, I looked at the spot where I keep my toothbrush,

and was like ' who the hell took/moved my toothbrush?! '

* searches for toothbrush * and then realizes its in my hand.

Thats how bad my brain is at the moment. Idk if I'll make

it through the exams next week even though they don't matter.

Toodaadeedumdum ~

Til then,
Leo.

You, and me (:

2011-02-12T17:48:00.000+08:00

Valentine's is near, so are exams.

Actually, its just a small test as said by my Chemistry

teacher, and yeah he is kinda right. It's not important.

Still, it shouldn't be on February 14 !

Gonna look for my pak lou shee ! pak lou shee ! xP.

A week just went by like that, getting confused each day.

I'm still not used to Form 4 yet. New things, too much.

Can't cope up with all the new subjects, and its just..

messy. Yeah like really really blur. Idk !

Today, we had CG in my house, like usual.

We didn't had much people, but it wasn't too awkward.

Even though there was silence, and new people.. it was

okay, for first CG of the year. Hope more people will join.

Nothing new guys ! Just living a normal life, being the

plain me.. P.s : I'm awesome >:D.

Til then,
Leo.

Flashbang. D:

2011-02-08T20:43:00.000+08:00

Chinese New Year.. still on but school ends it.

This year, everyone's not having the mood for it.

I was bored until the last few days I got into the 'gambling'

mood, but then school came and ruins everything ):

Saturday, got woken up by cheeweng, and we were

supposed to go yumcha at Old Town with 2 girls.

They put aeroplane and went to midvalley instead..

So, we asked Elise to come and hangout with us.

Great, she was about to go to midvalley too, so we

hopped into her mom's car and got a ride there.

Let's just say everything was unorganized, met up with

Elise and her maple ' guild members ', they were really

silent. Cheeweng and I tried to bring some life there but..

Still they were quiet, so we finally met up with the 2 girls

and looked for a spot to gamble gamble !

I kind of won 10 bucks from them, well we played very

small bets since we were dead broke after eatinggg..

They each lost some money and I was the only one that

earned, lol. It wasn't my fault they forced me to be dealer.

At night, went for dinner at uncle's house and their noodles

are one of a kind, delicious ! He is very good in gambling,

so I kinda lost a few bucks that night xD.

School school school, why don't you just pretty much

disappear and go 'poof' ? ]: Noone was in the mood for

school, and I was totally blur in school, day dreaming like

everything was in the background. I skipped school today.

Exams comes around and attack us once in awhile, and

here it comes. Next week, the first monthly examination.

I'll be daydreaming my way to success !

Will try to shove myself in some books while I'm at it..

Til then,
Leo

RRRRRABBITT ! (:

2011-02-03T20:30:00.007+08:00

Heyllooo, it's chinese new year ! :D
Alright, here's an update from what happened last week.

29th January - Saturday.

First, we did our 2nd moral project, - recycling.

So as usual my parents brought us to the wrong place, :P

and then, we finally met up with dhakshayani & the others.

We ( Dhak, CM, Adeline, Rodney, EuJin and I ) walked

about in carrefour first, and then we acted as generous people

in front of the camera like we'd recycle at the recycle bin xP.

Oh, one thing. They wanted to get Chee Meng her late birthday

present, which we prompted her to choose a necklace pendant,

that we told her was supposed to be a gift for 'dhak's cousin'.

So, we successfully bought something she chose, which she

didn't know it was going to be her gift. She is a really blur girl

after all, so it wasn't that hard to cover-up the obvious. >:D

After that, we went to dhak's house to hangout. I came up with

the idea to play hide & seek. And we literally forced cheemeng

to be the seeker, and count for one minute. Then, as she was

counting her way, I walked up to her and covered her eyes with

my hands as dhakshayani wears the necklace around her neck.

She didn't realize what was happening and didn't feel anything

around her neck, LOL ! So we dragged her to the mirror, as

she looked around she noticed the necklace. She instantly

reacted ' Eh, Dhaksha, I'm your cousin?! ' Hilarious !

So hope you enjoyed your late bday gift, ms.blur !

Later in the night, I got my phone ! Dealing in the seller's car

was really skeptical. My head was full of doubts but whatever!

All that matters is I got my Desire HD now ! :D After that I

joined my sister and brother's Pencils CG for dinner @ Padi house

and then another round of dessert at ' tim pan kor kor ' or smth..

1st February - Tuesday.

Okay, so I wanted to treat my mom and my sister Snowflakes,

also partly because it's my sister's birthday tomorrow( on the 2nd),

so we went there today since they're closed on 2nd-6th. Okay,

they did enjoy the dessert there but it was freezing cold. We
rushed out of the place after we're done.
Its been raining a lot nowadays..

Later in the night, my sister Debbie went out to the movies, and

then my brother and some people took her out to mamak until 12.

This is what happened. I cleaned her room up because at 11 her

CG members are coming over to throw a surprise party in her room.

She came back after the movie and asked ' why's the room so
clean? is someone coming here later or what ? '
I was like ' no ?? its 4 u '. Bam! Its like she's a physchic or smth lol.
So later at 11, they came over and prepared her cupcakes and
all hid inside her room. It was jampacked, believe me ! There
were more than 20 people and we screamed SURPRISE ! when
she walked into her room at about 12.10am :D.

2nd February - Wednesday.

After all the hard work and all, oh I didn't mention.. during the

holidays, I've been helping mom in the market early in the morning.

Business is really busy when near the festival, so. It was a long day

and today is the last day. At 5.30am, I saw Lai Chun Kiat in the

market ! Probably helping his mom to hold her groceries..

Debbie went out with her friends of course, its her birthday.

At night we went for reunion dinner at grandma's house.

Food was great and also another chocolate cake from secret

recipe for Debbie ! It was delicious and I had like 5 slices :x !

3rd February - Today.

Oookay, first day of chinese new year ! To be honest, this year

it was like a no mood year and everything wasn't as excited..

We had lunch together as a family, and then instead of cards,

we played my cousin's iPad, some 4 player ' snake ' game xD.

I really miss gambling and the cards !

We had the cousins day out, at The Gardens theatre.

10 of us, 3 cousins were missing though, the 3 sisters.

Okay, so we watched Mr. & Mrs Incredible, gold class.

It was super comfortable and the movie was nice and funny.

Glad we had a day out together before Yen leaves for Thailand.

Seems like ' the more the merrier ' really applies, and now we

have so less people as everyone is leaving to another country.

So this year's chinese new year is gonna be boring for me..

I hope I can gamble soon ! somewhere ! omg anyone

got open house for me to come take angpow and gamble?!

Please invite me ! XP.

Til then,
Leo.

My sanctuary, yeah.

2011-01-28T14:42:00.000+08:00

Doc, there's a hole where something was,
So boycott love !

Hey guys, it's the holidays already. :D

I'm like what the heck's happening in school.

Teachers don't want to teach, and we don't want to learn.

Nobody's going anywhere, and we, the students are the ones

that are gonna take the paper pain deep into our asses.

Tomorrow, I am going to get my lovely new cell !

HTC Desire HD :D, Its gonna melt me away !

I've been waiting forever, and theres no need to wait nymore.

Tomorrow, I'll be going to do a recycling project !

Actually, just faking it and taking pictures, because thats

what our ' moral ' teacher taught us to, to lie. Lol XP.

Not all things have been going quite well. Quite frankly to say,

some people take things for granted in their own ways, and

don't even think bout anyone but themselves. Don't pretend

like nothing's ever happened, because there's a hole where

something was. I'm not a machine, heh. I'm not a fool.

So stop your nonsense and stay away. You're one of the

fakest people I've ever met, and never realizing your wrong.

Detox just to retox.

Til then,
Leo.

You may say i'm a dreamer. (:

2011-01-20T17:19:00.002+08:00

Hey peeps, another update ! :D

I'm back from my second Accounts class today.

After that, went to 100degrees for lunch with my

buds, as well as cheers to Mabel who's leaving tomorrow,

I think ? Lunch there was already kinda filling. Then,

we went for another round @ Snowflake !

Yummy yummy dessert :3.

So I did get myself really bloated, and the weather was

really hot. Flu never goes away, so eff that ):

People always change. Humans are the easiest targets of
influence, of greed, and of everything else in this wicked world.

Have you ever tried looking back to the past and see what

you were before, and the hearts that you've touched, as well

as those whose touched yours? Change needs to take place.

Whether you want it or not, change will take place.

People come and go, and old things need to go for the new

to come. Before you lose a friend, even if you become strangers.

Please, do a favor for yourself and say ' i love you ' once, to

cherish and thank you for all the memories they have given you.

It's really just that easy, if you try. (: make this world a better

place. Imagine theres no heaven, no countries, and nothing to

kill or die for, and no religion too. Imagine all the people,

living life in peace. You may say i'm a dreamer, but I'm not

the only one. I hope someday you will join us, and the world

will live as one. No need for greed or hunger. Imagine, imagine.

No more drama, no more doubts, just live with a smile.

Til then,
Leo.

I hope some day you will join us.

2011-01-19T23:06:00.003+08:00

I've been listening to youtube singers lately, and I
really envy Sam Tsui's voice, he sounds like an angel.
This song is really meaningful, sang by John Lennon.
(cover by Sam Tsui ).

Imagine - John Lennon ( cover by Sam Tsui )

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...
-

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...
-

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one
-

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

If only the world had such peace..

There would be no need of unnessacary arguements.

I've been trying to catch up with studies, especially

Physics and Additional Maths. Add-maths is confusing me.

I'm still at the point where I can still understand..

But soon I am surely going to drown in books.

Tomorrow, is Mabel's last day.

I don't know you that well, but you are a nice girl.

Hope you can cope up with your studies there, and suit

yourself with the new environment, and make new friends.

Cheers to your bright future and life ahead !

Debbie ohh Debbie, my sister. She has arrived safely

back home, from Indonesia. She's lecturing me on

how ugly her room has become, and is bossing me around

to move the furniture to 'suit her taste' for the 2 weeks

that she's going to be staying here. Well, welcome back !

Oh I miss how we cramp our 3 butts in the backseat in

the car when going for dinner. While typing this post, she

just gave me a gift, a cap. Lol ! Thanks, I guess haha.

Either gonna be living in another ugly room, or live in hell

with my brother David like I used to years ago. Oh well,

gotta suffer as I'm the youngest in the family not to own

a room of my own ! Hahaha. Tomorrow's holiday, for

Thaipussam or however you spell it. Enjoy yourselves

for those who're having a stressful time, sit back and relax!

Til then,
Leo.

Double that tap !

2011-01-12T21:06:00.001+08:00

Awww, horror horror horror !

Going back home late sucks, I have no time for anything.

So tired everyday after school, and nap takes most of my time.

I can nap for even 7 hours, I don't know why lol

School, school oh gosh its so bloody hell boring.

Timetables changed. The teachers we are getting.. horrible !

I don't know if I can even last for a month. I might choke soon !

Additional maths, what are you even good for to the world ?

Are you even useful? ):

Oh gosh, the thought of getting good results made me think I

would get what I want, my beloved dream phone ! But no !

My mom made me think that I would get it, and then she had to

just had to crush it ! My hopes, nooo ! ): Its near the exams

soon, February 14.I guess our principal got no date for valentines.

Exams means studies, and there would be results of course.

And that means if I don't get the phone before exams, GOODBYE.

No more hope for a new phone ! So much for straight A's. ):

( Not boasting ).

Anddd, my sister is coming back in exactly one week.

She needs TEETH ! Anyone wants to donate theirs? XD

She's studying dentistry so of course she needs em for experiment.

Errr, that means she will claim back her room, and I shall sleep

in the living room on the couch with the smelly and dirty dog. ):

According to Jay, Form 4 is still honeymoon year, not for me !

Till then,
Leo

Shelter under wings

2011-01-06T22:33:00.001+08:00

If I was your man, everything would be okay.
Oooo nice song.

Opening up to so many new things, and yet to come, in school.

It's gonna be different, very very different. Oh, and also

4 people are leaving class, and 4 others are joining..

Decided to take up Accounts, apart from school.

This is just the beginning. Its still the first week of school.

Nothing's really started yet, and we are still going back early.

More are yet to come, and I am terrified.

I'm getting sick easily ): especially random headaches.

So easy to feel a headache wherever I go, or especially

wherever I look More specificly @ some unpleasant sight.

Yesterday, I went to midvalley with LiYueng and CheeMeng.

Happy Sweet 16th Birthday to CheeMeng !

She is a very blur girl, and there is a feeling of wanting to protect

this little girl, even though she feels as though she's very big already.

May her life goes on with flows of innocence and follow the
instincts of her heart. And shall there not be anything to
bring her down (:

I also bought myself a bag and bottle, and a birthday bottle for
her in conjunction with LiYueng and SuKyi. Only to find out
my wallet is totally emptied. xD Time to start saving.

Too much foooddd, stomachaches coming in as well.

Til then,
Leo

3/1/11

2011-01-03T20:38:00.001+08:00

Schooooooooooool.
Glad to see some people after quite some time again.

Everything's not that good so far ): I hope it gets better.

Oh now my cousin is in my class, lul.

There's also a new girl called Alena.

Don't know her much yet, hmm.

Oooohh, accounts has been taken off our timetable.

We'll have to apply if we want to take it, and that means

we have to stay back and go home later some days :l.

To take or not to take ? Halp ! Accounts or no accounts :(

I don't want to stress myself out, but its not a bad thing to take it..

Terribad rain when school's out eh, all wet. :D

Hope tomorrow's better and anything goes !

Till then,
Leo

Okay so, 2011 !

2011-01-01T14:51:00.002+08:00

Alrighhhttt, way to go.
Now, let's welcome 2011 !

Okay I've been sick for like the past 3 days.

As I said, eff 2010, before it leaves it still wants me sick.

Luckily, today as of 1st January fever is gone, kinda. (:

Is that a good sign for the year ? I hope so.

2011 you better be awesome !

Oh I don't know if its just me or the weather is just so colddd,

I've been sleeping in jeans these few days, sick or not sick.

SCHOOL, in two days. FML much. D:

Anything comes, anything goes ~

We'll just see what happens.

Have a great year ahead !

Let the best of 2010 be the worst of your 2011.
Cheers ! ~

Till then,
Leo

New Year New Life ? :3

2010-12-28T21:50:00.001+08:00

Heylloooo, its been months since I've touched this bloggaay.

Okay so, I've been up to lots these few months. Firstly, I've

scored straight A's, yes 7A's. For a person whose ass is on

the computer more than 10 hours a day, not bad eh ? :P

Oh my everyday schedule is just randomly busy.

Just ask me out for a movie or to ' yum cha ' and I'll be there.

Cause I'll be at random places ! Just so much I wanna do,

these last few days. No I'm not dying, its just that school

starts next week oh-so-fast-already ):

What I've been up to lately ! I've watched Gulliver's Travels,

and watching TRON Legacy tomorrow. (:

I've just spent RM250 ++ on shopping with my cousins.

My wallet hurts badly. But thats okay, since I've been working

in Pastis, The Gardens for a week. Lets say this whole holiday

I earned about RM700 + lah ? >:p

So much to expect next year. 2010 Fuck you, hard. :D

2011, Imma dive in. 4 more days. I love fresh starts.

Ohmygod Form 4 already. It ain't no honeymoon year.

I've heard a lot about you, Form 4 ! I hope you'll be my

bestfriend not enemy ):

Okay, this post is just to let ya'll know I'm still alive,
and not dead. Also,

LATE MERRY X-MAS

A Happy New Year !

Kudos to a bright new year ahead.

Till then,
Leo.

Counting Sheeps

2010-10-14T22:03:00.001+08:00

Aiyorrr, PMR over !
Everybody shouting Freedom !

Thanks to the principal, we get to have

'interesting events' everyday in school.

They locked up our classes, so we are expected

to lurk around all day around school o:

I don't think I'm going to school for quite sometime

Waiting and looking for work ! I need money nao ):

Hmmmm, PMR is over, but yet it's starting to get boring.

Rotting at home ain't a good thing, you might see me

with kulat and moss all over me soon. Rot... rott..t......

Needs.. something.. to.. do.. -BITE-

Till then,
Devilfishy

Ahhh

2010-10-08T22:25:00.002+08:00

PMR was terrible. I'm back to relaxing, for today, only.

Gonna start studying again tomorrow and Sunday.

I've died on Thursday, the papers were difficult.

My heart beats few minutes before the exams starts.

I really hope I can get a good result..

I don't even dare to check my answers, I'll wait.

Can't wait till after PMR ! By the way, I think

I'm getting a new maid today. Supposingly..

Probably gonna meet her later. Let's hope she's

one-in-a-million-chance different than others, and

is trustworthy.. Hmmmm good luck to all candidates

on your last 3 papers, and also for those chinese-takers.

Started advertising on Nuffnang and Geostring.

Please spend 5minutes to help register, or click the ads.

Thanks !

Good luck !
Till then,
Devilfishy

PMR D:

2010-10-01T13:39:00.001+08:00

PMR ~~5th October~~ PMR
~~5th October~~ 5th October
PMR 5th October PMR
~~PMR~~ 5th October PMR
5th October 5th October
PMR ~~5th October~~ PMR

Lead Me To The Cross

2010-09-10T00:00:00.010+08:00

Suuuup peeeps !
I just got back from Negeri Sembilan last night.
The whole mission trip was awesome, lots of fun!
At first I felt like I was literally forced to go, but
seriously, thank the One for bringing me there.
I enjoyed every moment of it and cherish it.

Like Beatrice said, each and everyone of us were
destined to be there, not by accident but by fate.
We were united to fulfill His will and do His work.
From Matthews 28: 16 ~ 20,
We were born for a mission, to obey His commands,
and make disciples of all nations. This is His call, we just
have to take the effort to answer it. It is time to step up.

The whole trip was really exhausting, but really fun ;
There were 10 of us, which are ;
Benjamin Gan, Darren Lee, Sam Lee, Melody Ng,
Beatrice Chia, Bryan Chia, Adam, Timothy Liew,
Jarrett Wong and I.

Day 1 ; 6th September 2010
When we finally arrived at the village church, we got

off the van and met Pastor David, and 2 orang asli.

They were plastering the baptism pool, and we were

to start our work immediately. We didn't even unload

our bags from the van, and started the work. It isn't

as easy as it seems. We had to make loads of cement.

The 2 orang asli uncles did most of the main plastering.

Firstly we put the bricks as the base for the stairs.

We started cement-ing the bricks and the rest of us

cleared the surrounding of the church, and cleaned it.

It was totally work until lunch, and then it rained, so

we rested for awhile and settled down.

Right until dinner, is when we get cleaned up and rest.

Dinner was a blast weih, but the pastor wasn't informed

of our budget each, and the dinner cost RM18 each.

It was RM50 budget for 3 days per person, so the leaders

decided to subsidize it larh, but the food was awesome.

Lights out at 12 !

Day 2 ; 7th September 2010

Oh nooo, its ministry time soon !

We couldn't imagine how much we did in a matter of a day.

The plastering was almost done and we were proud of ourselves.

We continued with the next few layers of the stairs. Melody,

Beatrice and I were literally putting lumps of cement over and over.

And there was a cat in the church. Melody named it after me, Ollie.

Somehow or rather the cat became ' Melollie'.

Also, there is this 7 or 8 year old boy, son of one of the uncles.

His name is Jeremy, and he was REALLY SHY at first. Beatrice

started talking to him, and he started making noises while we were

working. It started to get really disturbing, and he was making fart

sounds behind everyone. At first it was funny, until he made the

'fart sound' behind Beatrice, and smacked her on the butt. I was

in shock, and Melody and I didn't like dealing with kids. So this

became an issue as we had to deal with more kids in the village,

later. We kept plastering the stairs, and it ended up unbalanced.

We felt sorry for the uncle that had to totally 'redo' it all over to

balance it. At least we tried out best.. Due to the costly dinner,

we had to starve for 'Brunch'. We really needed more food and

water because of the amount of energy we need to work. Ben was

telling this horror story because he had a liver and heart of a
chicken in his soup. Bryan couldn't stand it, and he got a nightmare
later. So after brunch, it took an hour drive to the first village.

Everything went well, and the way they worship was different.

They just sit down in a circle, close their eyes and have their own

time with God. After talking with them, it hits me that we complain

so little as to taking the effort to go to church every Sunday, but

some of them move from villages to villages just to gather to
worship. Uncle Agit even has to walk for 2 hours from his house
to this village few times a week just to gather with them and praise
Him. I was in the main service, but I heard children ministry,
which was in a separate house, went smoothly. The van got
stuck in a pool of mud, as we were leaving. Jarrett and Sam went
behind to push the van and the mud splashed all over their 'one and
only long pants/jeans' ! Lol, poor thing! And before that, the first
person to go to the van and push it was a small kid. It reminds me
of the Change Your World video, where it starts from a small boy,
no matter how small you are, you can can make a difference.
It took a boy to take the effort to push the tree trunk on

the road, even though he couldn't do it alone.

Bad mamak service for supper.

Lights out at 2.

Day 3 ; 8th September 2010

Woke up at 7, which makes 5 hours of sleep. My ringtone woke

me up, aswell as it saved Bryan from the nightmare he had of Ben,

eating a live chicken, raw. Started working and 'touch-up' the
stairs we made, as the uncles finish plastering the baptism pool,
and we also made a pathway of cement, to the baptism pool.
It took lots and lots of cement. It didn't require as much work
compared to the previous 2 days. So after lunch, we headed off
to the second village. It was near the first village, so another one
hour drive. Unfortunately, when we got there and gathered with
the adults, it started to rain. The kids gathered in another house
for children ministry. Bryan was leading it, and he is 13 years old
so it was a tough job. Due to the rain, Pastor took quite some time

to come back, so we started off worship without him. I was

leading worship, kinda, with Jarrett as my guitarist. Yes, all the

songs we sang were in malay. Once the kids were done, they

joined in and listened to the message shared by Darren. After the

message, Darren, Jarrett and I went to leak the traditional way,

since there was a river, and no toilets nearby. Hahahaha.

We left for dinner, oh and I didn't mention that we packed our

bags and loaded into the van before lunch. We had Mac Donalds

for dinner, and we safely reached back to FGA, KL at about

10pm. Farewells to everyone and I think we did a pretty good job!

It was an awesome experience and I would like to continue

adding fuel to the fire in my heart for Him as I would like to

share His Word to everyone, even as little as a village of four
families. Because I know, He would change their lives no matter
who they are, and their lives are special. I really learned ALOT
from this mission trip, and looking forward for another.
Jesus loves you.

Today, 9th September 2010
I went for CG outing.
Swimming in OG heights, loads of fun.
Candle-light dinner by Christina Wee and Elena Lai.
Great food great people great night !

Till then,
Devilfishy.

Heylloo guys !

2010-09-03T23:51:00.001+08:00

Tomorrow's Change.Your.World !
Are you excited ? Hahaha.
Well PMR Trials is over, I got my results recently.
Minor improvements on some subjects,
and horrible decrease in some other few.

I crave for a better hard disk and memory drive !
Alright people, PMR is in about 2 weeks.
School is out, 2 weeks holiday hello.
If you haven't know already, I am going for a mission trip.
In Negeri Sembilan on the 6th,7th,8th of September.
This is to preach and help out in two villages.

This is my first mission trip and hope all goes well !
Glory goes to Him and Him only (:

I really really really hope I won't misuse the 2 weeks man !
I hate it when they give such long holidays, only to rot at home
Without any fire to study. Give me strength, my Lord !
I have been having lots of fun with Adrian, Cid, and Craig.
Thanks Adrian for making my day with your lame jokes.
Alrighttt. Time out. Time to write my testimony.
In bahasa malaysia ! Hahahaha.

Peace out,
Devilfishy.

Everything's gonna be okay

2010-08-08T12:16:00.001+08:00

Alright hey guys, its been awhile !
I'm just gonna blurt everything I remember.
Sorry, haha !

Hmmmm, Birthday Column
8th August - Happy Birthday to Adelynn Lee and Stephanie !
27th July - Happy Birthday Edric !
26th July - Happy Birthday Juanna !
25th July - Happy Birthday Ricky !

Sorry for the late birthday wish, as to Adelynn and Stephanie,
Have an awesomest bestest funnest birthday ! xD

24th July

Regarding my previous post, I was too tired to go for CG.

But I made it for the Men's Appreciation Night.

They had the ladies serve the guys before they could eat. xD

4th July

I went to watch Sorcerer's Apprentice at night with the YA's.

I got back at 3, and apparently overslept the next morning.

My sister said she was gonna slap me if I ditched school,

but yeahhh I missed school ! Hahaha. The movie was nice,

and has the same guy which acted in She's Out Of My League.

5th July

Ditched school of course, duhhh =p.

We had a family dinner, also with Junita and Reuben,

as a farewell dinner to Debbie, my sister in Kenny Rogers.

After that, she went for another farewell party in church.

7th July

I woke up at 5 something, to get ready to go to the airport.

After many farewells, my sister finally had to face the big thing.

A horde of people, YA people, and her very close ex-schoolmates

together had the very last breakfast with her before she goes.

She flew to Indonesia to study dentistry there.

Its gonna be a very long 5 years, and we well definitely miss your

sillyness around here. Excel in everything you do, see you in semester breaks!

Just a little thought to some people, it is indeed disrespectful
to retaliate or talk back to a teacher like that. Anyhow, she is
your teacher. Students nowadays show no respect, and make
fun of teachers when it is your own fault. It is funny, to you
and your bunch of friends well I guess you have your fun.
One day you will face the consequences if you continue with
your impudent behavior. Illiterate and uncivilized imo.

Till then,
Devilfishy.

Exhibition Day - Take A Peek !

2010-07-23T17:56:00.002+08:00

Woahh, what a looongg and tiring day. Awesome !
Spent my day in Scripture Union, and thank God
I got to escape from that long tiring assembly.
Our exhibitions were kinda boring, to be honest.
But Danny and I were looking at how bad some clubs were. XD

Nicholas' and the team of athletes and their balls !
Lol, they were selling tong yuen, with soya milk.
I was like smsing Tina the whole morning while she
was in school. It was a great day :D

I remember how Brian and Aris kicked each others' balls,
in WTF Club. It was hella funny, and Brian moaned LOL!
I myself got gangbanged and forced to hump a wall.
IT HURTS, and Danny shared the pain with me. HA!

Which should I go tomorrow ?
Youth CG or Men's Appreciation Night,
Or both ? I'm too lazy to go for both. QQ~

Till then,
Devilfishy

Live and let live.

2010-07-20T21:37:00.002+08:00

I took two hours to clean up my desk today ! :<
Hmm, today was a peaceful and calm day in class.
Without having to see the dirt and dust everywhere.

Juanna showed me this awesome website where
it had phrases ending with " Fuck My Life ".
Some are funny and some are just plain disgusting, LOL.
Tina, I like your new haircut <3.

17th July, Saturday
It was kinda hard to leave home, as I was partially grounded.
But, I managed to go for Bon Odori, with a bunch of friends.
The performances weren't as exciting as expected, but it was
a cute dance which the crowd followed and danced in circles.
It was mainly about the food, imo. And they are so not cheap!
I only ate two onigiris, one box of green-tea ice-cream and drink.
Met quite a lot of people there too xD.
Chee Meng was obsessed with her little evil horns.
Apparently, they weren't sharp enough for her !

18th July, Sunday

I went for the 180 Musical in DUMC ( Dream Centre ).
Attendance wasn't as expected, Samuel even wanted 2 buses.
Lol, and I met Sophia's friend from Hong Kong !
We got bored and played with his iPad in the bus on the way. :D
The play was kinda interesting, about a rebellious schoolboy.
It was my 3rd time going there, and the place is huge !

19th July, Monday

I've got an injection today in school, some prevention.
I heard Amanda and Li Yueng cried before the injection. xD
Well, it definitely made my flu worse. I got dizzy and really high.
It was a nice weird feeling like I've took drugs or something, :>
I even took flu meds and got even dizzier, so I napped like a pig.

Till then,
Devilfishy.

Running out of time

2010-07-11T21:44:00.000+08:00

It's PMR soon, I got to learn to love my books.
Well this is a short update.

9th July
Liyueng and I rushed to midvalley, and we failed.
So, we waited for the next movie at 1.30. We
reached there at like 11.30. 2 hours to waste.
We watched Eclipse, not all that exciting but it was
better than New Moon. Haha, saw some sentosarians.

10th July
Happy Birthday Mom.
Happy Birthday Ryan.
Dinner was a blast, went to Sushi Zanmai to eat.
The queue was long, and it was almost last call.
Fortunately, my brother knows someone who
works there, so we didn't have to wait that long.

Till then,
Devilfishy.

She's Out Of My League !

2010-07-04T19:34:00.001+08:00

Okay, so after the Friday blast, comes Saturday.
I went out and slack with Chee Weng, Leon, Kenji
and surprisingly Eddie was there too. Spotted DELON.
First, we went to eXc, then Leon wanted to basketball..
So went to school and met up with Shinji, Xue Zheng.

They basketballed, while I spotted Kirstin. She was
sitting alone at the bench, its been months since I
saw/talked to her. Chatted for quite a bit, then Leon
dragged me to his car and fetched me back home. XD.

Sunday ---
After market, I went to cut my hair, its a jungle up there.
SORRY LEON, I ditched church, as usual AGAIN. :<
Chee Weng freaking dragged me to Midvalley, and so
we fooled around and met Puiteng.. Quite a lot of people
I saw. After that cw and I went to disturb Pui Shi (idk how
to spell your name sorry ). In fact, I saw swee gee, li wei,
janice, jared and the ycians.
Chee Weng had a movie with his tuitionmates, so
I went to watch She's Out Of My League (18+).
Movie was hella funny :> Laughed my ass off.
It was funny, imo. Idk bout you guys. I'm tired.

Till then,
Devilfishy.

100 degrees of hawtness

2010-07-02T17:31:00.002+08:00

It is funny how people find the time to write a poem
in school to make fun of, or release their anger on me.
Why thank you it was a lovely poem and I appreciate it.
If you guys don't have any better thing to do in school,
just keep quiet, shut the fuck up and do your own things.
Not provoking others from behind, that's so lame.

Today was a blast, even though school bores me.
We managed to put up some stuff for our class notice
board. Due to lack of time, we couldn't complete what
we planned at first, but mehhh we still pulled it off. :>
Greaaat teamwork. It's Suk kyi's idea, right sukkyi?:P

After that we took seperate cabs to 100degrees,
Tse Ann and Cow of all cows met back with us,
while Chee Weng tagged along with a pink shirt !
Kwok Wai greeted us and brought us to the room.
I guess we were the noisiest there, even though in
a room.. Kwok Wai plays with us and he has such
bad service >:P. Pui Teng jacked off Chee Weng's
wallet, wahahhaa so expensive weih.. RM60+ for
both of them, while ours didn't cost more than RM16 ea.

Chee Weng made me take off our shirts to exchange,
then his magnet earring went missing, lmaoo.
Finally found it stuck onto some metal pole.
It was a jolly-good-time especially how Chee Meng
wasted my credits, she called Elise with my phone
and she didn't believe it was me, and thought I was
Chee Weng, after he craptalked with the real CheeWeng..

Okay we really had a good time, and a big belly.
Happy Birthday Janice, once again.

Till then,
Devilfishy.

1st Of July

2010-07-02T00:13:00.001+08:00

Hmmm, this week's been rather exhausting.
It is shameful how some people borrow stuff/money,
and returns it indirectly, without giving it back face-to-face.
Also, it is even funnier how someone owes you money, and
asks you to collect his debt from someone else, for him.
I've not only met one, but two of these rats this week.
Why the hell would I collect your debt ?~
You don't even have the option to choose how much you
gonna give me back, and ask me to get it from that person.
But meh, its just RM1 I can't be fucked. I don't wanna argue
bout it, mehh. Finally, I have no bonds with you rats anymore.
Total strangers, thats what we are, I don't hear your voices. :>

1st of July,

Happy Canadian Day to Canadians :>
Happy Birthday 21st birthday to Ana, you're legal now :>
Go hook up with Miya and *ahemm* xP, have fun on
your 21st, its special :>. May your relationship with Miya
go on smoothly and everlasting, all the best.

2nd of July,

Happy Birthday Janice, you're the cow of all cows :3.
You better mooo, you've became older than you are
in Christ, your wisdom and knowledge about Him is
more than the 15 year old outside. May you grow stronger
in Him, you woman of God :P. God bless you, girl.

Till then,
Devilfishy.

Holidays over

2010-06-23T21:27:00.001+08:00

In the blink of an eye, 2 weeks just passes by like that.
Holidays are over and school reopens.
Everything seems to be going alright, even though
not as peaceful as the holidays, but mehhh.

Lol @ what he said.
They realize not that what the truth is, and craps.
I'm so peaceful and calm right now, away from them.
I don't have to care what they say anymore because
they have nothing to hold me back ANYMORE. (:

Well to some of you, don't be concerned about me.
I'm totally alright, i'm actually feeling better now that
I've realized people and their attitude. Ehh, I don't
think theres a reason good enough for me to be angry
or upset, in fact I'm happy that they leave me alone,
and I avoiding them. What for being angry for someone
who don't deserve even 0.01% of my life? :DD.

Those voices are long forgotten, ever since before the
exams. Seriously whatever they say doesn't matter.
They just don't exist anymore, I didn't even spare
a gland at them. Haven't looked at their vexatious faces.

One of you, we have known each other for about uhh,
8 or 9 years ? I guess this is as far as it goes, our friendship.
Since its fated to end this way, goodbye. Thank you for the
times you've given me. I wish you enjoy yourself :>

Mmmm, its the end of June, PMR isn't far away.
Everything's going well besides the number of
papers I have to sit for soon.

Adios,
Devilfishy.

Happy Birthday

2010-06-13T22:34:00.001+08:00

Happy birthday bro,
even though you didn't do a good job as being a good brother,
but anyhow, you're still my brother. Happy 21st Birthday. (:

Yeah, don't be sad. Parents are parents la, they sucks.
They just ruined your 21st birthday but thats okay,
I guess you probably had fun with your friends out right?
Dumbfk parents q_q dad is so dumb and unappreciative
for what you did for him last weekk, and mom can't be bothered.

Well you're not the only one going through this~
Next month will be my turn, and I've already expected
that my birthday will be another lame and boring one
nothing much of a difference la, for the past few years
used to it q_q soo called "grand" huh liyueng.~

Throw away the sorrows, YOU'RE 21 ALREADDDY.
Happy birthday, again.

Haengbogeul ( Happiness )

2010-06-11T16:47:00.003+08:00

Heyllooo,

I kinda lost track of the days and its already Friday.
Holidays pass quite swiftly, don't they? (; As most people,
I wasn't really satisfied with my results, but gahh we'll try
harder next time, maybe ? I did not update myself with
whats happening and all that, but Amanda, if people are to
do something and deny, that's most probably their problem.
What do they get from it anyway ? :DD Just leave them yeahh.
They're own loss :D putting up a drama brings no good.

Don't waste your precious time being angry on people who
don't deserve your time. Every second you're angry, you lose
a second of chance to be happy. So don't go wasting your life !
I've put myself back into place and hoo mah gawshh life's good.
Being home is nice, maybe not for some of you :l but for me (:
I get to be free and I don't have to face some people.

Andd more importantly I can forget someone slowly..
Listening to music is so calming. Sometimes it feels like
the singers know what you're feeling and going through.
Ahhh, just so calming (:

To everyone else, happy holidays.
Enjoy while you cann, wahahha.

Here's a song.

Haengbok

With my eyes, I long for you

In my heart, I've found you

I can see the light that brightens me

I can't let go of the eternal happiness

Can you see me?

Call my name!

Open your heart whenever

and see that I'm always in front of you

Call my name! By your side

I will stay

I love you!

Let's be together, you and me forever

Till then,

Pedobear (:

Because We Come From Different Worlds

2010-05-29T10:48:00.001+08:00

Yes, I know. We are from two very different worlds.
We're just not the same, its just opposite.
We'll always be north and south..

Yeeahh I guess its true,
you're surrounded by many, you're busy.
you get phonecalls like mad, but I don't.
I'm one of those who calls you, so it annoys you.
You deserve some space, some privacy.

As of my previous post, I already said,
I will not disturb you anymore.
Subscribing a new line with me was just..
A last favor..
From you..

Goodbye, opposite ways.

Isolation - The solution

2010-05-19T21:09:00.006+08:00

Dear readers, this may be a long post.

Emotional or not, your decision to conclude.

Warning: I wrote this because this is my blog, and I want to express

my feelings by writing, not because I want the world to know my problems.

Please, if you think this post is too long and pointless, don't read..

My dear friend, I do not think I'm always right. My problem is that I
overthink. I know I always make assumptions. You think I 'emo' to
attract girls' attention, but I just love being quiet, staring blankly at the
floor or any random spot. It gives me peace, to stay away from the world.
Not because I hate people, I'm sensitive and afraid to get hurt by the society.
I think its pointless to keep trying to socialize after being rejected. You
always say they reject me because they were only 'kidding'. But no-one
cares about how I feel, its like a REJECT

chopped above my head over again and again.

You said you were gonna help me, to forget my past, my phobia.

But you were the one who brought it up again.

You said you weren't gonna get involved between my problems and

someone else who is close to you, but you helped the opposite instead.

You helped me realize my mistakes, and you comforted me,

but you were the one who always makes it worst.

You said there was nothing between us anymore, no more anger,

but you showed how much you hated me the very next day.

You said you hated me before, not anymore,

but the truth is you still do hate me, facts remain and

I'm not the only one that could see it.

I know you never wanted my help, my attention, my time.

I literally forced you into a close-friend relationship, and

I never thought of how you feel, and what you were going through.

You are the main, famous and always surrounded in class.

No matter where you are, there are always people around you.

With an annoying person like me bugging you, it only made your

day worst. You had problems with your dad, and I never bothered.

Instead, I made your parents scold and harm you, when you

weren't the one to blame, you were innocent, I was in fault.

You told me, you used to think like me before, but you

never showed it in school or to the society, because you

thought it wasn't worth being sad outside of your house,

when it was already like hell being in that family.

I don't know how you do it, but I just can't. It wasn't

my house or family who makes me sad. Its the people

in the school. I dislike school, it makes me sick. I meet

all kinds of people already, and I'm tired of exploring

this terrible world. I really salute you for your strength.

We've talked about our problems many many times.

Just when I thought everything was over, things got worst.

Because of one mistake I did, led to another and another.

Things used to be fine, we were starting to get to know each other.

I blown it up, and boom, it was already 4 months past.

I respect you and I do not follow you everywhere like a pest anymore.

But people are now starting to make fun of 'you and me'. Whenever

somebody talks about us, or says my name, you totally reject me like

I'm your biggest nightmare. I don't even stick to you anymore, I don't

know why people bring this up. Because it hurts to stick to you. I know

whenever I come to you, you will show a disgusted face and run away.

You show it to everyone, and you always say I'm smelly or scary.

You'll just run away, far far away, that is why I never come to you.

I don't want to get hurt everyday like that, that is why I stay away.

I've forgotten who I am, people are SICK of me I know.

I'm starting to get on everyone's nerves because of my emo-ness.

But indeed, I get the peace of being quiet alone than being made fun of.

I do miss the laughters with my good old buddies, and I mostly got along

well with anyone I knew. I was never like this, no matter the 8 years of

terror, I hanged on and became who I am today. But now I am weak

as ever.. because of you my friend, you made me weak. I don't know

what I am doing in my life right now. Nothing seems to be in place.

Now, the phobia is coming back, along with another one starting.

People are making fun of my eyes since the beginning of this year.

I was born with small eyes, these are my eyes and I can accept the fact.

So why are you people so eager to bother about it ? ..

Now, even the closest person I have which have been with me since

primary isn't even by my side anymore. I don't know what is happening

to me, everyone is leaving. Everybody plays with my feelings.

Not all of you respect my feelings, instead you play with me like a game.

I thank you for some of you who care, and put effort in strengthening me.

But I'm tired, of this. How I wish I don't have feelings.

You, my dear friend, have weakened me. I'm not who I used to be
anymore. Even if I want to be who I used to be, I simply can't. My
past don't let me. The society will remember what I became, and I
will never get to turn back. I guess I've learned to adapt to being the
quiet, emotional me, a sensitive brat. People are making fun of me,
and you sometimes lead them. It hurts, especially when you do it,
but I go through it everyday. I always tell you how hurt I am, but

you say you were just 'joking'. You don't seem to 'joke' like that with
your other friends. I am only one of your toys, an easy target to play
with. I realized I never made you laugh, because you were always
laughing at me with others. I can only see you laugh from afar,
but not with you. As long as you're happy.

You asked me to stand up for myself when I'm made fun of,

but you were one of those who made fun of me. Yet, when I

finally had the guts to defend myself, you defend your friends.

So I don't get what you want me to do anyway.

I don't know which is the real you. When you are alone with me,

we can chat about anything at all, and you seem so nice. But when

your friends are around, you make fun of me with them, like I

was existed to be a joke of the class. I don't know, I just don't know.

Which is really you ?

I know I cry a lot this year, and it started this year.

It was all because of you.. I can't help it.

The way you act towards me, and the most embarrassing

part is when I teared in front of you in your room.

You said its true, and you asked me whether I mind, that

you only find me when you're lonely (friends not around),

its not whether I mind or not, its your choice really.

I do not matter to you until the world isn't here to be with you.

Therefore, I have made a decision.. for the best of us.

I will not stick to you anymore, I've put too much hope and tears.

I will not find you, nor try to bring us together, by force.

Until one day, you find me willingly, not because you're lonely,

but because you want to be friends with me. Though its hard for me,

to forget you, especially when we're in the same class. But as long

as I don't bother you, as long as people don't make fun of you

with 'my name', as long as I don't burden or make you angry.

I am happy to leave you behind, a forgotten past.

I wish I never knew you, I wouldn't have to suffer..

Its not your fault anyway, I was the one attracted.

Dear readers, you probably already know who

I'm referring to as 'you', if you are my classmate.

I don't care if you think I'm gay. Its your choice to

think so, because I know who and what I am.

I truly believe in friendship and loyalty.

You may think I am a sissy.. especially dripping tears

because of another dude, and I've never been as

sensitive as this before.. I just don't know.

But I am as straight as an arrow.. so think as you like.

Sorry for the long post. Warning given.

A song to forget you.

2PM - I hate you.

stop your heart that’s turned away
accept this gaze that is looking at you
not even expecting love,
the ended story, the past story, yeah~

i hate you to death (even more you, who are like this)
i hate myself to death (even more me, who is like this)
just one more time, one more time, look at me
now i’m crying

Until then,

Devilfish.

Last words..

2010-04-24T18:30:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone, this shall be my last words for now.
I'm gonna stop blogging temporarily.

Since this blog has been used for not-so-good-purposes.
I am gonna leave it for awhile, unless I have good news to share.

Right now, i'm leading and living a healthy life.
Emo no more, i'm not gonna waste my life
being sad, when there are chances to be happy.

I live my life as who I am.
Until then, ciao ~ (=

Because I'm Stupid

2010-04-06T14:06:00.000+08:00

I’m really, very foolish
I know of no one other than you
you’re looking at someone else
yet you have no idea of my feelings like this

I won’t be in your days
I won’t be in the memories either, however
only you, I looked only at you
and the tears keep coming

As i watch you walking past, I’m still happy
even yet you still don’t know my heart
I should stop this and go

I really want to see the day
I’m withstanding the pain each day
“I love you” is playing on my lips
Alone once again, crying for you
alone once again, missing for you
Baby, I love you, I’m waiting for you

I won’t be in your days
I won’t be remembered either, however
only you, I looked only at you
I’m making memories alone

Loving you is like having a beautiful wound
I look at your pretty smile also
but I cannot laugh with you

I’m thinking about you so much everyday
my heart is hurting in all these sad days
‘I want to see you’ is playing on my lips
alone once again, crying for you
alone once again, missing for you
Baby, i’m waiting for you, I love you

Bye bye, never say goodbye
even though I cannot hold you like this
I need you, I cannot say anything more, I want you
I keep on hoping too, I’ll keep hoping….

I really want to see the day
I’m withstanding the pain each day
“I love you” is playing on my lips
Alone once again, crying for you

I’m thinking about you so much everyday
my heart is hurting in all these sad days
‘I want to see you’ is playing on my lips
alone once again, crying for you
alone once again, missing for you
Baby, i’m waiting for you, I love you..

Because i'm stupid...

Because I'm Stupid

2010-03-30T17:49:00.001+08:00

Exams.. exams.. exams..
Exams started this Monday, which started off with BM.
I was shocked at how difficult the paper standard was..
Probably its just me, slacking too much.. totally surprised
at the 'watak wanita' when all I focused on, was Nazar.

Today English was okayy, maths tomorrow, :S
My judgement day falls on 1st April 2010.
Sejarah will most probably kill me, after Science.

Oiiii, si Ha Pui Teng.. you banyak panjang tangan orh xP
Steal my RM5 somemore wanna blackmail for bubbletea.

Time passes so fast, and its been almost 2 months now.

This pain, never goes away but I guess I've gotten used to it.

I'm happy as who I am now, though its hard for me to talk to

you, and pretend nothing has ever happened. Because it did

happen, and it is all my faullt. Because I'm Stupid.. this song

matches me so much. I can only talk to you about certain

things, and I seldom talk to you.. its hard for me to act normal.

Therefore, I usually try to stay away from you. I see you are

happy with the people around you. I don't wanna disturb

you anymore, i've regrets. It makes me happy, to see the

smile on your face, from far away, all I can do is stare.

Even though it it not me, whom caused that smile to shine

on your face, I am happy just to see it. I know its weird..

So this is to you, live a happy life, with or without me..

Cheers.. sayonara..

P.S: Good luck to all in the exam, don't slack like me.
HA PUI TENG. i'll be stalking you !!

Confusion

2010-03-25T21:37:00.004+08:00

Hmm, someone asked me to update my blog with anything,
As I promised, and that someone ask of it not to be long, so..

Yes I'm confused, its been quite some time now.
I've stayed strong, i've been holding on to my hopes.
Even though there are proof and in the eyes of others,
it is always negative, and people are telling me stuff that
are bad, and I wish it was the other way round, I have
been standing strong. I'm like a prisoner of my own mind.

So many things happen for a reason, but I don't know

what you think of me, what you want from me. What will

make you happy, what you don't want me to do. Whether

you care about things I do, whether you're just pretending

in front of your friends, whether you're just too lonely, and

you come to find me just when your friends aren't around.

You are the bulb that lights up my world. You make me
sad, you make me happy. You, make me, confused.

This confusion is killing me, just another short post.
I hope this ends soon, PMR is near and I don't think
I can go through it with this thing...

P.S: Happy 2 months anniversary..

Do you remember ?

2010-03-11T08:45:00.003+08:00

Good luck to all those who are taking their SPM results today.
Especially to my sister, all the best ! (:
Also, to all involved in Sports Day today, all the best.

Do you remember ? - Jay Sean

Do you remember do you remember

Do you remember all of the times we had
Do you remember do you remember

Do you remember all of the times we had
Let's bring it back ( x5 )

Its been awhile, I cherish the memories we had.
They really matter to me and are treasured.
We used to just sit down, may it be on the bed,
or be it on the rough floors of the courts,
we just talked about anything that came to our minds.
We used to just stay up late, playing games together.
We countdowned Christmas together,
We countdowned New Year together.
We countdowned your birthday together.
Well, do you remember ? All of the times we had.
Lets bring it back. =D.

Edit on 13th March 2010.

Happy birthday to Jun Xiang..

Downnn downnn downnn

2010-03-03T18:12:00.000+08:00

I've been able to overcome my emo-side.
As you can see, I've been happy these few
days, it seems things have gotten brighter.
Today the sky fell down. </3 I'm weak.
Please give me the strength to go through this.

When the world looks down at you...

If you have realized, i'm a type of person whom
spirit and will is broken when am discouraged.
If you go on like this, you are slowly killing me.
I can tolerate you, if you were just alone.
But you're close to someone who means the world
to me, therefore I have been tolerating. I'm tired.

Sick of the pests in our daily lives.
Isn't there many other things in the world to do ?
Why must you keep pestering me, and make
my life miserable. It is already miserable enough.
What did I do to provoke these pests ?
When I am innocent, I get the blame and aim.
I'm targeted for no reason. What is the meaning
of life ? Do I have to own a smelly mouth like you ?
Or be a spoiled kid, with bad attitude, just to
be happy in life ? Is that what you want ?

Please tell me what do you want from me.
I've let myself sink deeply in this pool of
suffering love. I am dying slowly from it.
I don't expect your pity and I hope you
keep your distance away from me.

I've let go of my emotional-ness.
Now that I am happy being myself again,
I really hope you will get lost and fly away,
like you never appeared here before.
Everything was okay before you came.
I've never met such a pest like you..

This world is mine to make, not yours.
I won't let you get hold of my life.
I decide what I do, and what I stand for.
Don't underistimate me, being timid
don't mean I am weak. If you really think
you're so strong, you're wrong. You only
have a mouth. Yes, nothing but a mouth.

Even when the sky is falling down..

Journey to the past.

2010-02-19T17:47:00.001+08:00

Its a path, a journey, to the past. Not of the bad times,
but its of bringing back the happiness from the past.
Its been 9 days, things are getting better, step by step.
There's no need to rush, there are footsteps in every
path, just don't give up the fire burning inside.

Just don't give up I'm working it out
Please don't give in, I won't let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around

Its about time, that greater things are yet to come.
Greater things than these, are yet to be done in this city.
I give my heart to you, and let your will be done.

I've realized i've been stucked up on a person.
I forgot about you guys. You were all around me.
I didn't feel your presence, you were all there for me.
True friends are hard to find, and yet they don't have
to be found, they are always there for you, whether you
realize it or not. Thank you very much. I know now.

No matter how I was treated like in the past.
I know, you were there for me, we've been
through a lot together, small or big, all of it.
These people, you've really helped me realize
of who I am, the broken pieces of me fixed
together again. I'm a better person now.

I'd like to mention names.

Low Miing Pin, Thinakaran, Danny,

Adrian Kok, Amanda Young, LiYueng,

Janice Khaw, Wesley Wong, Chee Weng.

also to the others, i appreciate your care.

Thank you all of you, for just being you.

The purpose I existed in this world was

to be me, its about me. Not about some

other person that came into my life.

Its a journey, a journey to chase after
the plane of happiness, which has
successfully landed. A journey
where noone shall stop me. Its my fight.
This is my stand. I shall stand up for myself
against the world, this is who I AM !

The Journey To The Past, Present and Future !

Venturing into a whole new world.

2010-02-10T21:35:00.000+08:00

I've made a lot of mistakes. I've always said sorry.
Sorry don't do nothing, you know ? I always
repeat my stupid mistakes. I fail to keep my promises.
Sometimes, I just don't really use this brain of mine.

Its time to give up the past. I won't give up
trying to be happy. I will give up my emo-side.
I'm sorry, again I say to you. I've never realised
I could be so harmful in such a way, and I really
want to change. My desire is a burning flame.

To the others, thank you for helping me
realize my wrongs, my mistakes and my flaws.
Please bare with me to help me overcome
my emotional side, help me not to take
things so seriously, jokes are just jokes.

I always say this, that I will make an effort to
change, but I fail to make up to my words.
This time, I really want to change. Not really
change, I want to become myself again.
The Oliver you know went missing for awhile.
Now he is slowly coming back.

Now I will arise and smile !
Thank you Chen Li Yueng for cheering me up.
You taught me such a funny way to smile.

Step 1 : Look in the mirror

Step 2 : Ask " Are you Oliver ? "

Step 3 : Lay back and laugh at yourself.

Even though I didn't try this, it made me laugh
instantly. I really thank you for others who cared.

I will try not to go deeper than just being friends.
Friends are friends, heng dai are heng dai.
If I am ever overboard and too much,or
when I say something wrong at times when
I shouldn't, please.

Shut my mouth and whack me.
Stop me from repeating mistakes.
I really don't mind, please whack me , LOL !

Sorry sorry sorry sorry,

naege naege naege majyeo

naege naege naege pajyeo

pajyeo pajyeo boryeo baby

Shawty shawty shawty shawty,

nuni busyeo busyeo busyeo

sumi makyeo makyeo makyeo

naege michtyeo michtyeo baby.

Sorry is useless, but I am truly sorry.
From now on, I'm not a fake Oliver.
I'm Oliver Leonard Jalleh, (: !
SMILE SMILE SMILE SMILE.
I have small eyes so what ?
Cute marh.. suit me to smile more right?
SMILE ! (:

Sigh ..

2010-02-10T14:38:00.002+08:00

I've never been hated so terribly like this by

anyone before. Especially by a loved one ..

When you needed something, I made it.

It was just for you, I lied that I would give

it to someone else if you don't want it..

I gave it to you, but you didn't want it,

just because it was from me ..

When I didn't talk to you for the whole day,
when it was time to go back home..

the only word I said to you was " bye " ,

but you just walked away with an angry face..

its really scary, it melts me so badly..

I've tried to change, I'm not trying to be emo

anymore, I guess Time is the only solution.

I don't know how long its gonna take ..

Its the only path, and it kills me slowly.

Everytime I pass by somewhere and think

of what we used to together, even though

it was little, the tears just start flowing..

I really miss you. sorry.

I am sorry.

Don't stop, make it pop.

2010-01-24T20:24:00.002+08:00

How I wish, I could lay down under the stars.
Listening to music, and just staring at the moon.

I'm sorry, to make some of you worry about me.
I thank you for your care, I really appreciate it.
At times I know I feel leftout and uncared, but
I realize I have to just think out of the box.
I don't have to force myself to fit into that circle.
If they do this to me, I'll just keep on ignoring
and the most important thing, I'll smile (:
From now, I'll tell myself to think positive,
and learn to accept insultations or when I am
made fun of. (: I'll try, please bare with me.

I can't control things on my own, I can't make
the world follow my expectations and want's.
This is the time I'll just be "human" and go through
all the ' ups ' and ' downs ' as an ordinary student.
Sorry if you were pissed off reading my previous post.
I know you care, but you just don't show it..
To someone if you are reading this : I like this quote.

" I thought you were a one in a million, but you are

just the same as the others. " I've trusted you man.
You violated my trust. I can't believe you anymore.
Is this your true colour ? You were once so angelic.
You've now turned against me, haven't you ?
I've been dumb. Sharing my problems with a
'counselor' like you ? You yourself have problems
of your own. I was stupid, how could you even
help me solve mine ? LOL. Please, if you are to
turn your back against me, don't even talk into
my face. I don't wanna see such a ' friend '.

Wheeee ~ . I'm in love. (:

Also with this song.

Fireflies - Owl City.

I'd like to make myself believe,

that planet earth, turns slowly.

Its hard to say I'd rather stay

awake when I'm asleep.

'Cause everything is never as it seems,

when I'm asleep.

School tomorrow, it's time to sleep early !

Change..

2010-01-19T18:06:00.004+08:00

Form 3 Life

It isn't as easy as it seems. I've never really experienced so much mixed
feelings in my heart.I thought it would be easy, but it isn't. It seems not
everyone can get what they want. It feels like a dagger pierced right
through your heart, disabled, numb and incapable of doing anything.

Expecting you to feel the same way back, in efforts of bonding a tighter
relationship. Result ?Making things worst into something that will never
be the same again, always in doubt. In my heart, I want you to feel the
same way, but its the opposite, isn't it ? Jealousy has overtaken me. I'm

always been insecure of what you think of me, what you want me to be,
just to be with you.My mind, it blows up into pieces. I've never thought
of life in such a way, such a way that everything is so not just simple.
I wish it was, I wish I was just another guy that goes through life everyday,

not aware about whats happening and just go to school, eat and sleep.

I've never really cared about who's around me. I never even noticed you.
Its all your fault. Why did you have to come into my life ? Now all I can do
is just stick to you,but you..you only run away,far far away.I feel so crushed
when I talk to you. The words that come out from my mouth, I have to think
twice before I say it. I've always thought, you were different.Yes you are,
but the way you think, its just the same as the others, am I right ?
I've never teared up before, besides the times when I was younger,
and getting scolded terribly by my parents, way way back.
Its you.. you made me do it. My eyes were so sore. Its silly I know
For a Form 3 guy to tear up over such silly things like these ?
Your words..are sharper than a sword. You really pierce through me.
I've spent so many restless nights. It was the worst holiday ever.
Now, its a beginning of a horrible new year. Will it get better ? ..

Can I get up there ?

Can I live up to my expectations ?

Will you talk to me like you talk to that person ?

Will you whisper through my heart's deepest core ?

Will you be there when I need you, out of will but not pity ?

Will you look for me, when I whisper to myself " please come .. " ?

Would you make me an exception, and feel the same way I do ?

All these unanswered questions leave me uncertain, in doubt and misery.

Its never about me. Its about you. Yes I am the problem, I'm in the wrong.

But,what can I do to fix this broken pieces together,to make you say"Yes."?

You've come into my life, I can't get you outta my head.
Please don't leave me this way..

Its a big loss. I've lost you guys. Its hard to leave something you treasure
behind. This suffering, it hurts so deeply. I've never thought of these until
it happened. Things are just different. I can no longer be me anymore,
Oliver Leonard Jalleh, who are you ? I don't want to put on a mask

everyday, representing a whole different side of me just to adapt into
the environment. Why ?Why must you all leave me ? I'll have to wear
that mask everyday now. Otherwise, I think I'll be emo-ing in a corner.
A corner without love, joy or laughter. Somewhere I don't want to exist in.

I rather stare blank at the floor and live in my very own world, than face
the world with fakeness.

Sorrow overcomes happiness.

God, if you really exist. Reveal yourself to me. If I am really your child.

Cover me under your wings, and guide me. Life has revealed itself.

Life

Equals.

Empty.

EMPTY.

Enjoice (:

2009-12-12T14:20:00.000+08:00

Some pictures, when I went to high court,
for the very first time in my life.

I went to court because I raped YOU (:

Entrance of the mahkamah

Hallway

Fat hao sister posing

Building entrance

High court, curi curi shot this.

3 spy cams up there, there was a NO-CAMERA sign !

Ciao ~ Off to packing my bags

for Genting, sayo-sayo-sayonara

Happiness is a myth

2009-12-09T14:01:00.001+08:00

Hello, blog.
Its been 7 days.

Well lets see, I didn't write everything down.
I don't know what happened on which day so
I am not so sure.

3rd December 2009
I went to tuition today.
Aaron wasn't present, sat with Ahby.
Lmao Leon's face expression is really blur.
So sir enlarged his eyeballs and stared at him.
Everybody stared at Leon, pure silence, funny.
Leon was probably shocked when he heard that
if you tie a rubberband on your finger for 3 hours tightly,
your finger will fall off, he's gonna experiment and try it !
After tuition, Leon's mom fetched us to Ahby 's house.
Fooled around, basketballed for awhile then went back home.

4th December 2009
Nothing special happened, not that I could recall.
Still waiting for my new hp on this day.

5th December 2009
Spamcalled my cousin 21 times for 30 minutes.
She didn't answer, was on silent mode. I was
supposed to wake her up so that she could come
over and pass me my hp (: , unfortunately she didn't.
Arrived at church to witness the beloved wedding of

~Junita & Reuben~

Dear Junita, you have been a great friend and feet massager :P

God bless you, with half a dozen kids ! Great wedding

The food was ahmazingluhcious ! Happy marriage (:

Though you just rent a room in our house,

you'll still be somewhere in our hearts.

At night, went to collect my hp from my cousin.

Finally touched my first handphone (: yeahh.

6th December 2009

Planned to go Midvalley with baby but,

Plan failed.

7th December 2009

Midvalley plan success,

watched " Jump " with

LiYueng, MiingPin and Bryan.

The movie was kinda okay.

Bought my line & number, ask me for it.

8th December 2009

I went to tuition today, wahaha can see my ahby.

Eihh Daniel, you banyak bising orh, can't sleep --

Today I asked my mom if I could go genting

with LiYueng they all, through SMS, Lmao.

Here's the chatbox :

Me : Mom can I go genting wif some friends on 13th until 15th?

Fren got free room dunnid pay but got go themepark 2nd day

Me : And dun tell papa 1st maybe he dun let. Are we going anywhere

this holiday anyway ?

Mom : Got dinner on 19th at MSW ( Another church somewhere )

Me : Nothing else right? So can i go please? My frens goin thru bus

and 1 of their parents will be there 2 help check in and watch over us.

Mom : then u will be missing ur tuitionlah. u got money 2 go ah? u pray 1st.

Me : I told my fren try earlier reach home cos tuition expensive. I will

pray tat my mom will sponsor me (:

And it seems like she agreed .

P.S : We were sms-ing under the same roof.

So, genting here I come. Baby you're a bowstealer.

You stole my heart, now steal my bow, lmao XP

Vampires and werewolves ?

2009-12-02T22:00:00.001+08:00

Kristen Stewart

LimKarHui Theory : " Screw you deep deep "

Tuition has officially started again.
I expected more people, but it was like
Half of the class is missing, and thank goodness.
Someone didn't show up, Leon is indeed very glad.
Went to search for my handphone in Sungei Wang.
Too late, no stock. Ahyen will search it for me another day.
I guess it'll have to be delayed, little device ~

Twilight Saga New Moon

Watched it today with some peeps
As Baby said, it indeed sucked.
Not as interesting as the first one.
Probably only the girls will like it,
and also homosexuals. Rip off !
We felt it was a waste of money.
Tried Haagen-Dazs today with Ahby (:
Ate @ Kim Gary Restaurant for Luinner
Its what I call the mix of Lunch and Dinner XP

Be cleansed !

2009-11-30T21:20:00.003+08:00

Wedding of Symphony and Harmony

♥

Some people really should learn to clean their mouth.

Be cleansed, use Oldgate (: wash that smelly mouth of yours.

Instead of eating durians all day long.

Fill your mouth with Praise, to the Lord

Those words from a smelly mouth are hurtful.

Please wash it before you speak again. (:

Also, I'd like to declare that I no longer have a brother.

He shall be just another worthless man in the house.

Tomorrow, tuition classes start again.

Back to studying, gahh.

I hope I'll get a good seat tomorrow.

Till then,

It won't be

2009-11-29T14:00:00.002+08:00

Things will never be the same again.
It won't be the same anymore.

God please give me strength

to go through the burdens

in this reckless life of mine

Aku no understandings ? ~

2009-11-28T00:14:00.001+08:00

I just don't understand whats the meaning of living anymore
Whats the point, I don't understand and I don't care
I resist, endure and try to ignore, all these don't work
It feels like I've been in this house, suffering for decades
I just wish holidays are over already, I ain't getting much fun of it.
I'm living in a nightmare every single day, someone save me.
I'm not being emotional right now, I'm just waiting.
For time to pass by, I can't do anything anymore.
I have to face the music everyday, as if I don't have feelings.
Time, please go by faster.

Aku no understandings ! ~

Let me live, i'm only fourteen, I cry out to you.
I'm glad I have my Ah By and Baby (:

Passionate love between Symphony ( Revilo ) & Harmony ( Baby )

Joined forces, married on 28th November 2009, 10.00pm